My Bubbling Teapot

Turning forty

2011-02-08T03:54:00.000-08:00

Turning 40 this year for me was such a combination of feelings--my mom didn't live to see her 40th birthday. She was so young to die--my age almost exactly. As my birthday was approaching this year, I felt myself growing reflective. What thoughts were in her mind when she thought about leaving all her children at such tender young ages? Did she think about the fact that she probably wouldn't live life after 40? How would it be to be so sick and helpless and watching your children grieve your dying? Many thoughts about her life have been on my mind this year.

Sometimes I close my eyes and try to remember what she looked like and how her voice sounded. Her image can become so fuzzy in my mind. It seems so long ago that I saw her and touched her. One wonderful night, I dreamed about her and in my dream, she was just as I remembered her--her blue eyes, her nicely-shaped nose, her smile--her whole self in great detail, every part was chiseled again in my mind. She looked so happy that I remember waking up wishing it were true.

But it wasn't. Even so, I feel blessed this year to be healthy, to be looking forward to life after forty, and to dream about the futures of myself, my husband, and my children. This was something my mom never could realize in her lifetime. My dad told me some time ago, that when Mom discovered that she had cancer, she told my dad, "I want to live to see my grandchildren." That was her dream, cut short when she passed away when her oldest was only 16 years old.

So, now, I'm embarking on unknown territory. I've outlived my mother. Such a strange thought to me. How I wish many times I was more like her. She is my hero! What would it be like to relate to her as an adult? So many questions that in my lifetime will never have answers.

My prayer today: Lord, mold me more into the godly woman you want me to be! I fail so many times from being what I wish I was! I feel my human weaknesses. Make me more like you, Father!

2007-06-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

I'm officially moving to xanga. Please come visit me there. I might be back someday, but right now xanga is more user friendly and a lot of my friends are over there. Sorry, bloggers.
My address is:
http://www.xanga.com/bubblingteapot

A Mother's Eyes

2007-06-02T03:27:00.000-07:00

I never thought I would stoop to such things. When visiting other homes as a teenager, I disdained the clutter of child’s paintings on the refrigerator. I scoffed at the messiness of obvious child’s experiments in jars in the corner, in egg cartons on the windowsill, on newspaper spread on the table.

I vowed my house would be neat, immaculate, and free of childish clutter. I would have an “art gallery” in some out-of-the-way place. Caterpillars would stay outside where they belonged. Clay projects could dry in the garage. My refrigerator would not become a bulletin board.

But guess what I discovered? I couldn’t destroy the “beautiful” drawing that my son labored over for hours. How could I throw away the ugly plastic cup with one forlorn flower drooping lifelessly over the side? I remembered my daughter’s gleeful smile when she proudly held out a dandelion clutched in her grimy hand. I never thought I would have a garden growing on my windowsill from the seeds that my son carefully collected. It would be cruel to dismantle my son’s terrain alive with caterpillars, twigs, and grass.

Oh, how different things look from a mother’s eyes! How different things feel from a mother’s heart! If my house looks like an art gallery, it’s because I fondly recalled the little hands that painted each picture. If I have to clean around art projects, I smile at my children’s creativity. I have discovered that an immaculate house is not real beauty. Real beauty is expressed by shining eyes, heartwarming smiles, and wrap-around hugs from happy children.

Many Blessings

2007-05-23T06:54:00.001-07:00

Life has precious moments of blessings. I would like to share three with you. (1)Last weekend our church enjoyed a weekend retreat at a a Christian retreat center. Our theme was prayer and I felt God nudging me to spend more time with Him. Thanks, Lavern and Lolita, for planning such a great weekend!

(2) Corleen led a "children's choir" on Sunday morning. It was awesome, Cor!! And the message powerful! Thanks, children!!!

The children singing "Love is a Flag"

(3) Robin's sister, Caia spent some time here and she blessed me in so many little ways. Thanks, Caia! You were a blessing! She sewed Allison and Hadassah, and Annaliese all look-alikes!!! What a thoughtful gift. Our girlies were happy to wear them at the weekend retreat. It was especially appreciated since I don't seem to find much time to sew recently! (or is that ever?)

The three girls wearing their dresses with Caia!!!

More Substitutes

2007-05-17T04:01:00.000-07:00

Today I'm making monster cookies. And I'm realizing how many American ingredients it takes--peanut butter (ok, we CAN buy it here, but it is expensive and not very good), brown sugar, corn syrup, and chocolate chips. That's a long list of things I can't get here. So, I try not to make these kinds of cookies too often. More substitutes (this time some dressings I like that I can't buy here):

Ranch Dressing

1 cup buttermilk
1 cup mayonnaise
1/4 tsp. onion salt, garlic salt, celery salt
1/8 tsp. pepper
1/2 tsp. parsley flakes
Mix together and use on your favorite salads!

French Dressing

1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup sugar
2 Tbsp. vinegar
1/4 cup ketchup
1 tsp. mustard
1 tsp. paprika
1/4 tsp. salt
2 tsp. water
1/4 cup oil
Mix and serve!

Italian Dressing

2/3 cup cold water
1/3 cup oil
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
2 tsp. onion powder
1 Tbsp. sugar
1/8 tsp.pepper, allspice, paprika
1 tsp. celery salt, garlic powder
1/4 tsp. oregano
2 soda crackers

Combine in blender. Blend until smooth.

Croutons

Butter both sides of bread. Sprinkle with seasoning salt. Bake on 250 degrees for one hour or until dry and crisp. Stir occasionally. We love these homeade ones.

"Quick and Easy" or "Difficult and Time-consuming"?

2007-05-12T03:51:00.000-07:00

Trying to follow an American recipe in Poland can be a catastrophe. Especially, those recipes that say "Quick and Easy." About 99% of the time, I must first of all make my substitutes for the time-saving bought ingredients that aren't available over here. After all my dishes are dirty preparing all the ingredients, I can then assemble the recipe. Unfortunately, for me, these recipes become quite complicated. Georgene posted about being faithful in little things. I thought I would post some of the substitutes I've learned to use. Maybe some of you can save some money by preparing your own substitutes.

Bisquick Substitute
8 cups flour
4 1/2 Tablespoons baking powder
8 tsp. sugar
2 tsp. cream of tartar
2 tsp. salt
1 3/4 cups shortening
Mix until finely crumbled. Store in air-tight container or in the freezer.

Sweetened Condensed Milk Substitute
3/4 cup sugar
1 cup powdered milk
1/2 cup warm water
Blend in blender until smooth. Chill.

Cream Soup Mix
2 cups instant dry milk powder
3/4 cup cornstarch
1/4 cup chicken boullion
1 teaspoon thyme
1/2 teaspoon basil
1/4 teaspoon pepper
Combine. For one can of cream soup (10 3/4 oz) blend 1/3 cup mix and 1 1/4 cup water.
I have many more, but maybe this is enough for today. I will post more later.

Eleven-hour boat trip

2007-05-06T08:50:00.000-07:00

...and we found out that is a long ride!!! Friday we took the children on a school field trip. We left at 4 a.m. from home to catch our boat at 8 in the town of Elblag and spent all day riding a boat in the lake region of Poland through canals, over lakes, down rivers, over land (!!!), through locks, and finally docked in the town of Ostroda at 9 pm (a little later than we planned)!!! We saw some awesome scenery, consumed two back-packs full of food, identified birds, talked to other people on the boat, and just relaxed in the sunshine and enjoyed being together as a family.

A boat we met coming up the canal from the same company that we were riding with.

Yes, the canal just suddenly ended. There were five slopes like this on our trip and a little cart carried the boat and us up a total of three hundred feet during a 6 mile distance. Amazing! And interesting.

The little cart like the one we rode up the slope on!

The whole crew ready for adventure

The Captain and First Mate (that's me!)

That's the bird-watcher, Austin. If you're interested in the details, they saw many birds, but only identified these--mallard, mute swan, coot, black-headed sea gulls, gray heron, cormorant, marsh harrier, goldeneye, pochard, great crested grebe, crane, and a cuckoo.

Derek, are you tired of the boat trip already? It was fun for the children to buy food and drinks from the snack bar below deck, but it was hard on the pocket book, so we kept it to a minimum. Allison constantly wanted to buy me tea or coffee or asked if she couldn't buy some candy. The lady was patient with her many trips to the snack bar and eventually struck up a conversation with her.

Our Great Venture

2007-04-24T01:17:00.000-07:00

We feel so blessed that God has given us a property of our dreams. There are many questions ahead that could discourage us:

Will we as foreigners actually get permisssion by the end of the year to own this piece of land? (as stated in the preliminary contract we signed this week)
Will we be able to find all the building materials to build a wooden house instead of the normal block here?
Will we find enough volunteers from America to come and spend some time here building our house? If you are interested in maybe a short VS opputunity or would like more details, email us at jolasmucker@terramail.pl .
Will we get permission to cut down trees where we want to build our house if it is zoned as forest land?
How will we be able to give the time we need to this project with our already busy schedules?
Will the money stretch to accomodate all expenses with the extremely weak dollar?

Yes, there are no answers right now for these questions. But we choose to trust God. He has led us so far, giving us peace about this purchase, helping us find an honest inspector who will deal with all the building hassles for us, giving us a small cabin on the property for the VS boys to live in, helping us to agree on a house plan. You can view it here. Of course, I can't tell you about all the modifications. You will just have to imagine.

We worked all day Saturday. We cleared away dead branches and twenty-years' worth of leaves on the ground. Rewarding, but very slow work. There are windows to replace in the vandalized cabin, fence to build to keep the vandals out, insulation to be put in the cabin to make it winterproof, the bathroom redone to include a shower of sorts. We ended the day with a kielbasa roast with the whole team to celebrate!

There are some things I love about the place:

The children were playing and I couldn't even here them from the spot I was working on the two acres.
The pond and the TREES that are big enough for climbing and a swing.
The place to build the house has lots of trees between it and the road.
It is back a small lane, but yet in the village. (I love my privacy)
The whole team was grilling kielbasa and instead of filling up my whole back yard like here, we only were a speck on the property.

Yes, it is a venture of great faith, but as you can tell we are excited. Here are a few pictures for you:

The pond at the back of the property

The Cabin

Two little munchkins picking up sticks and playing on our property.

Conrad hard at work in the doorway of the cabin

Dad and Alli lighting a fire in the fireplace inside the cabin

Les hanging insulation upstairs in the cabin

Our grill of celebration

Look at the sizzling kielbasa!!!

Quote of the Day:

Dad (after he finishes reading the Bible story): Allison, what kind of skin did Jacob cover his arms with?

Allison: Children's skin.

Dad: What?!?

Allison: Dad, you said kid's skin!

Reflection Week

2007-03-30T01:01:00.000-07:00

Last week was Reflection Week in the Roman Catholic Church and schools actually closed for this holiday. It was created for a very good purpose, to give people a chance to reflect over their lives before Easter. A very good idea in my opinion.

But in reality, nothing is different. In fact, the pace of life increases instead of having a spirit of solemn contemplation. Young people hang around town in groups. The streets swarm with a harried crowd racing from store to store to find their Easter baskets and "palm branches." People are wildly beating rugs and feriously washing windows in preparation for their great "Wielkanoc" (Easter). All the town flocks to the market to buy new curtains and rugs for their newly cleaned houses. Actually, the whole country is in a frenzy to make sure that they are following their age-old traditions surrounding Easter.

The church is busier than usual, it is true. Many stop for a few minutes of reflection on their way to town. But are these people reflecting on the true conditions of their heart? As they deprive themselves of something dear to them during their "Great Fast", are they comprehending the true meaning of what they are doing? As they carry their branches to church on Palm Sunday, do they really think about Jesus coming to the earth as King for them personally? As they carry their baskets to church to be blessed by the priest for their Easter breakfast, are they contemplating the true meaning of the bread, the egg, and the meat that they carried within?

Then I look at my own heart? How many times am I just doing what I'm doing because I feel obligated? How many times is my heart far away from my actions? How many times am I doing my duty out of habit and not an initiative of my own. My greatest pray is to really understand the sufferings that Jesus endured for my sins personally. I want to make the cross a daily experience for myself. How I long for the cross and resurrection to have real meaning in my life.

Spring Cleaning is Dangerous!!!

2007-03-16T11:10:00.000-07:00

My house was in sad need of a cleaning from top to bottom today . I was planning to clean the downstairs yesterday, but I've learned the flexibility is essential here. I didn't get one thing cleaned yesterday. So, this morning, I'm thinking that I will do a quick over all cleaning. But as I began looking at the living room I saw so many things that needed to be cleaned I decided to spring clean the whole room. Very dangerous! So instead of cleaning my house, I spent all day cleaning my living room. I was washing and hanging out curtains, polishing the lights and windows, dusting the shelves, cleaning out magazine racks, wiping the baseboards, and oh, my, everything looked so nice. Such a good feeling!!!

The last thing that needed to be done was to roll up the big rug and haul it outside. These sweepers over here are for the birds. Every so often we just have to take our carpets out and beat all that dust out of them, which isn't impossible since we don't have wall-to-wall carpet. So, bless their hearts, Austin and Robin hoisted the rolled up rug and hauled it out and I could hear "Whack! Whack!" What a lovely sound. I quickly swept and mopped so it would be dry and ready when it was ready to be laid down. Soon, Robin comes in and says, "You won't believe this, but the neighbor lady saw us out there beating rugs and she decides hers needs to be beat, too. So, our comes her husband laden with their rug. 'Only a little one!' she told them. Ha! It was big!" So they got a double job. But what a blessing! My rug is nice and bright and I can just feel that everything is cleaner.

And the final stroke was to move out the couch! That is dangerous. How embarrassing! Here is what I found:

1. 4 matchbox cars
2. 3 dice, all different colors
3. a pencil
4. a broken pen, plus two that still worked
5. various game cards and game pieces
6. play money
7. blocks
8. Derek's favorite recorder
9. peanut shells
10. an eraser
11. a crayon
12.a puzzle
13. legos
14. a screw
15. a sticky blob of something
16. 2 children's books
17. a table knife
18. 1,000 dustballs

Ok, everyone! Move out your furniture and you will be appalled at the discovery!!! And sadly, the rest of my house waits to be cleaned. Next week perhaps???

Could Spring Really Be Here?

2007-03-10T12:23:00.000-08:00

John's student says, "No, it's impossible. Spring came too easy. There will be more snow and cold." Maybe so....

...but for now I see little brave crocuses breaking through the hard ground...I see green buds on my rosebushes...I see that the snow drifts have disappeared...and I hear birds...I feel a warmth in the air...I see the world waking up around me...

...And I choose to rejoice and believe that Spring is here and I will enjoy it to the full and believe it is here to stay!!!

I told the children today that we should have a "Welcome Spring" picnic soon just to celebrate that winter is gone!!!

And somehow I choose to rejoice in the feelings of newness in my heart as well. Why does it feel so much easier to rejoice and feel happy in the Spring of the year?

Keeping Sane For the Weekend

2007-03-06T00:34:00.000-08:00

Overnight guests can throw my weekends into an frenzy. In fact, this past weekend we had seven young people from Ukraine visiting us. That doubled the amount of people in our house. There are a few things that make entertaining more stressful for me here than in the states. I have...
...a small oven
...not a huge fridge
...a small table which means always cafeteria style
...no dryer
...not enough towels and washclothes
...limited storage space

So, I will share a few things I have learned in the past few years to adjust to my predicament when I have guests. I started cooking and baking on the Monday (almost a week ahead) so I wouldn't be trying to bake everything all at the same time. What a relief it was on the weekend to pull out fried hamburger for taco soup, mint brownies and pecan pie bars, baked apple doughnut muffins, and cinnamon rolls all ready to just thaw and be served.

On Tuesday I made out all my menus for the weekend (great idea). It was a comfort to just consult my list magneted to my fridge to see what the next meal was going to be and to know I had everything prepared and ready. Not one thought had to be directed to what I was going to have for the next meal. And I tried to keep it all simple. No time to try new recipes!!!

On Wednesday I went shopping for all the ingredients and stashed my cupboards full. I did find some frustration that my family couldn't understand why they couldn't eat all the apples and taco chips right now that mom had bought for the weekend. And a few things disappeared until the Saturday and had to be replaced, but it still was pretty stress-free to have all my ingredients at my fingertips.

On Thursday, I began cleaning my downstairs. I simply can't clean the whole house well all in one day. I spent the day cleaning out the childrens' rooms and the downstairs bathrooms. How nice it was on Friday to have half of my cleaning behind me.

On Friday, the day of arrival, I cleaned the main floor. I took out an hour or more to visit a friend that I had promised to go see this week. But, despite all my organization, I still worked up to the last moment. I did have time to whip up a breakfast burrito casserole to pop in the oven for brunch the next morning and also grate all my cabbage for my crockpot kraut and sausage dish for our meal at church on Sunday. I changed all the sheets, and that is always a circus because the beds over here aren't set up for American covers, sheets, etc.

My weekend was a whirlwind of activity. All day Saturday and all day Sunday was filled with activities and I never had one moment to do anything but survive. But it wasn't all that stressful thanks to my busy week of preparation.

And Monday morning, after they all left, I went downstairs to assess the situation. Embarrassed, I noticed that in both of my bathrooms there was not one towel or washcloth left!!! Oh, my, I do hope that none of them had to drip dry or anything. And I also found a batch of laundry that I had thrown in the washer Saturday morning, but never had time to get it hung up all weekend. And I will still be washing until at least Wednesday. The joys of no dryer!!!

All things considered, I count it a good weekend.

Shattered Shards Everywhere

2007-02-26T13:24:00.000-08:00

A peaceful evening was interrupted with the horrible sound of shattering glass. What shattered downstairs? In a second's time, my mind went through a mental list--the picture on the wall, the glass doors of the cupboards, windows, and I tried to think of all the precious glass objects downstairs. The next instant I was leaping down the stairs two at a time to find all eight persons of our household some running and some huddled around Alli and behind her a huge jagged hole in the glass on her bedroom door. Talk about making a person feel shaky. I felt myself getting faint as I was bandaging up all the little scrapes and cuts, but I felt incredibly thankful that she was alright. Amazing how many bandaids we used. Somehow her shoulder had hit the glass and it shattered cutting her shoulder, foot, and hands. Freak accident. Poor little thing. Her teeth were chattering and she was quite traumatized. I'm still a little worried about her eye. She was rubbing it and rubbing it, but we couldn't see anything at all. We'll see how it is tomorrow. I rocked her big as she is and tried to reassure her, but I'm sure it isn't going to be easy for her to put it out of her mind and go to sleep.

Note: This morning, Alli came chirping up the stairs, "Mamma, look what I found in the corner of my eye? It looks like some plastic or something." Yes, it was a small piece of glass, I'm sure. It must have floated around all night and she picked it out this morning. I'm so thankful. I was envisioning going to the emergency room and trying to communicate in Polish what was going on. Thank you, Lord!

Property Hunting

2007-02-26T10:06:00.000-08:00

Les told us the other day that he thinks "property hunting" has become our hobby. He might be right. It is true that in the last couple of years, we have looked at a number of properties and houses for sale close to the town of Minsk. So far, none of them have materialized.

We sense a great need for something to change. We have been living on this small lot in town now for five years. While the house itself is quite adequate, we feel that we need more space for our growing family. So we continue to look and pray. We want our property to be God's property and we only want to purchase something that we feel that God is blessing. And nothing has fallen into place yet.

About one month ago, John's student told us about a property for sale about two miles from Minsk in a small village. We arranged with the owner to go look at it. There are a lot of positive things about it that would have been negatives of the other places we've looked at in the past. The city water and electric are there ready to hook up to. (A big plus!!!) The two-acre piece is wooded with a small A-frame cabin (another plus!!! A perfect home for the VS boys that are now living with us). The land slopes down to an open area that has a garden plot and a pond (of course the boys think that is a big plus!!! They informed me that they were sure there would be enough space for playing ice hockey), and along the back of the property flows a small creek. It really is a beautiful piece of land. The negative is that there is no house and we would have to build. But it seems like it could be a possibility. There are close neighbors but you would be more nestled back in the trees and you wouldn't think about it like some places we've looked at.

And the best thing is that what we are willing to pay and what the owner wants for it is only five thousand dollars difference. So, we are seriously interested. The owners want us to make up our minds soon because there are other parties interested. But, we are waiting for a couple of problems to be resolved related to the deed before we make a decision. We would like you to pray with us about this so that we can feel clearly either way the direction of our Heavenly Father. Thanks for your prayers and care!

I Hate Mending

2007-02-15T06:50:00.000-08:00

There! That makes me feel better! I...
...detest
...abhor
...despise
mending.

I'm sure those of you who are virtuous mothers are shaking their heads and wondering what is the matter with me. I don't know where I missed it, but the pile of mending in my sewing center makes me cringe with hatred.

Why do I wait until all of Allison's dresses are missing a button before I finally, grudgingly get out my needle and thread? Why does a dress hang for two years in my closet with chopped off sleeves that are only waiting for one seam? Why do John's Sunday pants lay over my bedroom chair for weeks before I finally get around to sewing the loophole back on?

I've always hated repairing clothes. When I learned to sew and sewed my sleeve in upside down, I would have rather started all over than to tear out the one little seam.

Mending is such a tedious chore. But today, when I finally got around to sewing on six buttons on six dresses, sewing up a hole in the back of another, and zigzagging around two pockets that were coming loose, I realized it had only taken me about fourty-five minutes. And the time I spent before dreading the task was worse than actually doing it. I hope next time it won't look so big. And now Alli has five more dresses!!! I'll let you in on a big, deep, dark secret---I hate ironing, too!!!!

January Poland Update

2007-02-12T23:01:00.000-08:00

Ok, folks, time for another update. I decided to post our monthly letter here for those of you who don't get it regularly.

Let's hear from all the departments this month.
Smucker's School Department--
The children are continuing to struggle through their winter's school work. Today when one of them announced that there are only 12 weeks left, everyone's spirits seem tolift a little. It is at this time every year that I think we are not goingto make it to the end of school. Every year about this time I'm ready tosend them all out the door, but I'm hoping in another month or so some ofthe subjects will be finished and dropped off so it will make a lighter loadfor all of us. There are many arguments (Smuckers say they are discussions)about history and science, since my boys love facts and history. Today the"discussion" was centered around whether the St. Lawrence Seaway is made up of only the St. Lawrence River and the Great Lakes and if it is manmade or not. Maybe you would like to join the discussion.

Smucker's kitchen Department--
This lady spends more time in the kitchen than she really likes. It seemswhen any one of the eight bodies enters this kitchen, food disappears into thin air. When I walk out the store door with more bags than I can handle alone, I can see people thinking I'm stocking up for the month when in reality I'm only getting fresh bread, eggs, milk, and a few things we need for the day. I could tell a difference in the amount I cooked when Les and Robin were inIreland and I was only cooking for our family. Even though I still had to cook, the amounts seemed a little more manageable.

Smucker's laundry and clean up crew--
The children would say this is what they do all the time when they aren'tdoing school. Well, I beg to say that is a little exaggerated, but I do getweary of all the wet clothes hanging all around our heaters and all over the downstairs in the cold winter weather wehn I can't hang the clothes outside. It is a full time job to keep our play room tidy and I think we all agree that it is the worst chore around here.

Smucker's music and art department--
The boys are enjoying their piano lessons this year with a voice teacher from the local music school. I do sometimes weary of the repetition, but I see improvement in their playing, so that's good. We have been singing together as a family some and the children enjoy that. Conrad has really picked up playing Les's guitar and he really enjoys it. Robin has a banjo and Austin has learned a little from Robin on this instrument as well.

And the children have made sand art, snowflakes, leaf wreaths, andalso learning some drawing skills in their weekly art with Corleen. This is a highlight of their week. Our hats are off to her!!!

Smucker's head department--
John spends a lot of time with daily school administration and mission stuff. It would drive me crazy, but he seems to thrive on it. We have been so blessed with the number of students we have had this year. It's amazing how God keeps bringing new people to sign up. The changeover is large which is normal for a small language school, especially with our emphasis on conversation. That makes a lot of paperwork each month which is one thing that keeps John busy. He spends time talking with students, trying to keep them happy, taking monthly payments from them, and trying to encourage the teachers in their work.

Smucker's events, weather, and other headlines--
John enjoyed many cards, emails, and phone calls for his birthday. Thanks to all of you who contributed. It is so fun to get mail during the drearywinter months. He had a great birthday although he had caught on what was going on before he received his first birthday wishes. :( Oh, well, it was still fun. I painted his office, put up a border, hung a tapestry and a clock, put some classy framed pictures of his family on his desk, and the for a finishing touch, a big plant in the corner. He never dreamed that I would go to that much work for his birthday and it was fun to see how pleased he was. He told me he might enjoy being in his office more now than being at home.

The weather this winter has been so mild. We have had almost more rain thansnow. Strange! But the nice part is that with no cold, cold, cold weatherour house is staying reasonably warm and that is something to rejoice about.I still remember last year when we totally blocked off one room in our houseand put all the heaters in that room, so we could enjoy one warm room and wespent a couple of evenings huddled around those heaters during the coldestof the cold weather. I remember one evening last winter we went to a localpizza restaurant, just to be in some warm place and lingered over our pizzaas long as we could. But this winter, PTL, we are warm!!! I don't miss theincredible cold. We've had some wind and rain storms through here but wehaven't had any damage thankfully.

We just finished two weeks of winter break. I didn't give the children vacation totally but I lightened their load so we could still have a bit of a break. John spent several days being sick which wasn't what he had in mind.

Prayer Requests:
--Jacek and Agnieszka, a couple that had made a commitment to the Lord, but after their marriage have not indicated any interest in spiritual things.
--Wanda seems to have hit the bottom and has nowhere to turn. Pray that she would be willing to give up everything including her ungodly boyfriend and return to God.
--Henryk and Irena, our neighbors, seem to think that we are their family, but are very closed spiritually. Pray that God would open their hearts.
--Wojtek and Agnieszka, Laura's friend, just recently told me that she didn't realize you could pray for anything except thanking God for her health and her family's health. She felt like she wasn't worthy of asking God for anything else.
--Once per month we have a Sunday evening service at Andrew's, a single man's house close to Warsaw. He invites his friends and family and it is always a good time together. Pray that God would speak to people through Andrew. Have a good month.

Foreign Language and Sunday School

2007-01-13T11:49:00.000-08:00

I have always found teaching Sunday School to be a stretching experience for me. I can expect to spend a significant amount of time in commentaries, reading related articles, studying the Bible and such. But nothing prepares you for teaching SS in a foreign language.

First of all, to begin study, minimum, I will need:

My English Bible (to read what I'm actually trying to teach)
My Polish Bible (to check to see how to say things in Polish)
My notebook (to jot down all my thoughts and ideas)
My "Experiencing God's Peace" book that we are studying (Thank the Lord it's in English)
My English-Polish dictionary volume (to look up many unfamiliar words)
My Polish-English dictionary volume (to double-check to make sure the meaning is right)

Whew! All that before I can even begin. Did you ever realize that "Church" vocabulary is completely different than everyday vocabulary? Well, it is. There are many times just going to church is discouraging when you see how many words in the sermon are unfamiliar to your ears.

Well, just try preparing for Sunday School in Polish. It is a slow, agonizing struggle. It can take me a whole week to get all the words I need. And of course, once you find all the words, you need to get all your words into cohesive thoughts which might be dramatically different in gramatical structure. And don't try reading any awe-inspiring quotes or deep thoughts. They will go flat every time. Things just don't always translate well.

So, a shiver went through me when I suddenly remember on last night that I am scheduled to teach SS on Sunday (thank the Lord it wasn't Saturday night). I realized last night that I had a full days work today just to prepare (let alone my normal Saturday chores of making food for Sunday and pizza and doing laundry.) I do hope I'm prepared. It looks scary. Maybe we should have prayer time or share time like I did last month. :)

Do I hear volunteers for teaching next month?

The Day of Days

2007-01-10T05:27:00.000-08:00

Today my husband told me I need to take the afternoon off. Knowing there wouldn't be any privacy at home, he shooed me out the door telling me to go spend some time in a quiet place. Is that awesome or what? I thought about going to Piano Pizza and sitting by their fireplace, but somehow I wasn't sure what people would say if I came in toting a laptop computer, a Bible, a journal, and the book The Jesus I Never Knew. I know that would have brought a lot of stares. Not being in the mood for Polish stares, I opted for the teacher's room at GTE (Gateway to English), knowing that there wouldn't be much activity at our English school in the early afternoon.

What bliss!!! Reading a whole chapter without interuptions...being able to think about whatever I want...not seeing the 101 things at home that haven't got done yet today...catching up on emailing and writer's workshops...I feel blessed and pampered today. (I must say, my husband seems to be winning all contests right now of "How to Treat Your Wife of Your Life.")

But, I know at the end of this afternoon, I will be ready to go home. After all, who likes your own company forever!!!

Loving and Hating Vacations

2006-12-30T06:01:00.000-08:00

I hate Christmas vacations because:

Bits of wrapping paper, boxes, and gifts lay around all week.
Crumbs from all-day snacking find their way to chairs, carpets, counters, etc.
Everyone is in everyone else's way, trying to figure out new games, read new books, put together new puzzles.
There is still the usual cooking, cleaning, and laundry all week long and sometimes it doesn't seem like a break at all for mom.
Tempers seem shorter than normal.

But there is more that I love about Christmas vacation:

Cozy evenings reading with candles flickering on top of the piano.
Putting together a puzzle every year (at least a 1000 piece one)
Yummy brunches made every morning by prearranged volunteers.
Lots of cookies and candy to make us all fat.
Going to the zoo and going out for supper (this has become a yearly tradition. Kinda strange, but it's something we do together every year.)
Taking time for playing games together.
Christmas music floating around all of us all week.
Going ice skating on the new rink in town since the ponds aren't frozen yet.
Time to think while the children are occupied elsewhere. (a great gift since we homeschool and there is never a time when the children aren't around here)

Yes I do feel blessed. Remind me of the good times when I feel like complaining, ok???

2006-12-24T13:49:00.000-08:00

We all want to wish you a very Blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!John, Laura, Conrad (14), Austin (12),

Derek (9), and Allison (7)

That Husband of Mine...

2006-12-18T09:16:00.000-08:00

...is at it again!!! He whisked me off yesterday for a romantic overnight stay at an American hotel in Warsaw for my birthday. We had been there about three years ago and had enjoyed it so much that he even requested the same room. It was a wonderful, welcome break from the everyday life of being mom, wife, teacher.

Here is my one and only picture to prove it. This is our complimentary room service breakfast that they brought us this morning...

The Works!!!

While I'm sharing pictures, I want to share some pictures from the team's Christmas program that we put on Saturday night. We invited all our English students, plus our friends totally about 70 people. Pretty amazing. The children preformed a very meaningful Christmas play "From the Scribe's view" interspersed with singing. The team helped with some songs and we had time for the audience to help sing Christmas carols (Polish and English) as well. Truely, it was a lovely evening from the candle-lined window sills to the haybale-poinsetta-lantern backdrop to the three sweet angelic angels come to minister to the shepherds to the Christmas tea and the 140 cinnamon twists that disappeared after the program. I thought the message of the evening really was powerful if the people could understand all the words that were said and sung.

The Scribe and the Innkeeper

Joseph's Monologue

The shepherds in their field

The three Angels come to sing and proclaim hope

All the Children singing

Happy Birthday, Derek!!!

2006-12-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

Today we celebrated Derek's 9th birthday. It brought back many memories...the many prayers that ascended before his conception...hours of walking the airport runway in South Boston, VA during labor...the joy of seeing such a beautiful child...seeing the delight in our other boys' faces at having a new baby brother.

Derek is our giving child. He is never happier than when he is making other people happy. Many notes, drawings, and cards are tucked away in my "keepsakes" folder, ultimate treasures. He delights in surprising others by doing their work for them. He spreads sunshine whereever he goes.

Today he worked ahead in all his school work just so he could have the day off. He had made a list for me before I went to America, listing in great detail what he wanted for his birthday.

Does Derek look happy with his gift?

He ordered cheesestuffed pizza, chips, pop, and chocolate eclairs

He worked all afternoon helping to create his erector remote control truck.

Does he looked pleased or what???!!!

Trip to Oregon

2006-12-09T04:26:00.000-08:00

As some of you already know, I made an unexpected flying trip to be at my sister Judy's wedding this past week. My Dad had some free miles that he used to purchase my ticket only a little more than a week before the wedding. We decided to try to surprise everyone. But the trip wasn't without it's problems.

When I got to Warsaw the first morning, my flight to London was cancelled because of the fog. (Warsaw can handle piles of snow, but not fog). The next day I went back to Warsaw and began my delayed trip. When I got to Vancouver that evening and my one hour flight to Portland was cancelled. (Vancouver can handle dense fog, but not snow!!!) Five out of six of my flights were either delayed or cancelled!!! I arrived in Portland a day and a half after I was planning. I had lots of stories to tell. Here are a few excerpts I wrote home while there:

"Well, the story doesn't end yet...I don't have a way to call you so I thought you would probably check email first thing in the morning. I'm at Ramada Inn in Vancouver using their free internet service. My flight to Portland was cancelled!!! Can you imagine??? Dad asked me if this trip is jinxed or what. It is a long story, but they are caked in snow here and a lot of flights were cancelled. So...I wait again."We got in on time, but then there was a mix up with the gates and we waited on the plane for probably one half hour. Then we went in to get our luggage. I was suppose to be able to just transfer instead of going through customs, but because the flight was cancelled, the door to the transfer was locked and I had to go all the way back down and go through Canadian customs...then we waited for our luggage for probably one hour because the door was frozen shut and they couldn't get it open. Imagine!!! How much more can go wrong?I met a really nice older couple from France (I think God sent some very nice angels to minister to me) that had sat close to me on the plane and we got to talking while waiting for the luggage. Had a great conversation. They were former Catholics, but now are Protestant. They gave me some Canadian coins to try to make a phone call since I didn't have any Canadian coins and couldn't get any till we were past customs and offered me ten more so I could get some coffee or something to eat. Well, the phone wanted $10.70 to make my call!!! I knew that wouldn't work, so I went to the Air Canada baggage desk and told them I had to get in touch with my family in Oregon so they would know my flight is cancelled and wouldn't leave for the airport. The kind man behind the desk dialed the number and I talked on their phone. Then through customs...to the Air Canada ticket counter where I promptly disolved into tears when they told me there was no compensation for weather related problems. So...I was so tired, I knew I couldn't sleep well at the airport and it was still only 6pm, so I called for a room and they came and picked me up. I met another angel, the shuttle bus driver. He was a friendly black man that told me that snow hardly ever comes to Vancouver. He told me an internet site that I can check with in the morning to see the status of my flight. It is amazing how God sends people to really minister to you when you are in trouble. So I leave tomorrow at 7.30am from Vancouver."

"I woke up at 2:30am and couldn't sleep. I got up at 3, and had coffee in my very quiet motel room. I went to the lobby to check if my fllight is leaving for sure and the man behind the desk was still snoring!!! I didn't want to wake him up, so I went back to my room and dialed the desk. He sounded quite groggy. He helped me with the password to get onto the internet. Wow! Never had problems being up too early before. :)"

"I'm here and we are leaving in one hour to set up the school. I did manage to startle most of my family, although some of them were a little suspicious. Esther was the funniest. I just knocked and walked straight into the house. She did three little hops and a screech and ran to hug me. Ashley told her later, "Aunt Laura scared me." It is so good to be here. Looks like there won't be a lack of things to do for the wedding. I think everything is going pretty good, but I feel sorry for mom trying to get this wedding done and then leave for Belize on Tuesday."

"We just got back from setting up the reception. Lots of work. They are planning on 600 people!!!!!! They have maroon poinsettas and stacks of old books with lanterns on round tables. Looks really pretty. It is so nice to be here, really!!! But I do miss having my family around me. Every so often I find myself looking for you or the children."

"We had a huge day today. We spent ALLL day making food and doing stuff at the gym. I think we all thought it wouldn't take as long as it did, but now it's finished. I told Mom and Dad it feels like we are feeding the five thousand!!!! Judy is serving Romanian soup, European bread, and cold cuts. For dessert she is having a big chocolate chip cookie topped with an ice cream sundae. Yummy."

The wedding was really special and I was so glad I went. I had a Sunday evening with some of the Smucker family, one afternoon for shopping, and a morning making candy with the Smucker ladies. I crammed a lot in the little bit of time I had. Of course, there were still things I wanted to do like go see Marcus and Rhoda's house, visit Grandma, go to the chiropracter, see Phil and Blaine who couldn't be with the Smucker's because of sickness, and maybe do some more shopping. But, my trip was well worth it and the things I didn't get done will just have to wait until later. Thanks to all of you that helped out with various parts. You know who you were. :)

Sugarless Thanksgiving???

2006-11-27T01:47:00.000-08:00

In Poland, we never celebrate Thanksgiving on the actual day. It isn't a national holiday, so of course, we all have to do our normal jobs on the day. It seems a little weird, but I think we've adjusted.

We invited all our English students for a traditional Thanksgiving meal on Friday night. I made the pumpkin pies. The first two turned out glossy and moist. The next two looked drier, but absolutely beautiful. Hmm! I thought. Must be because I cut down on the cream in the second two. As I was cutting them, by mistake a sliver came off in my hand. I popped it in my mouth. Ugghhh! Something was wrong. No sugar!!!! I had forgotten to add the sugar. Well, since the first two were beautiful, we cut them in small pieces and served them. They got raves.

But the next day, Saturday, we opened our home to the team for our yearly Turkey dinner. Everything was delicious as usual, and we all felt stuffed. But the pumpkin pies???? Have you ever tasted them without sugar??? All the spices, but no flavor. Blahhhh! But we smothered them with whipped cream, and joked about our diabetic pie and ate them anyway. Maybe next year....

Our English students enjoying a traditional American Thankgiving

And our team in our livingroom

Robin carving the turkey

Happy Thankgiving everyone!!!

Reminiscing...

2006-11-08T23:08:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, one year ago, would have been the funeral for my five nieces and nephews. Some of my reflections:

One year ago...rudely awakened at 6 am with the awful news...God miraculously providing more than $5000 so our family could fly to the funeral...the LONG trip and the overwhelming emotions at finally being with my family...the struggle of knowing that God is a God of love...wondering what good could come from this tragedy...the stark imbedded picture in my mind of a yawning grave in a new cemetery and five little caskets...observing the grace of God being poured out in abundance in the lives of my brother and his wife...waiting for new news of Jeff's recovery...the huge void of our first family reunion...the many tears that have continued to course down our cheeks...was it only one year ago???!!!

And some comments from my sisters:

"...it's been kinda a week of remembering." --Gina"

...I ran to Chewelah to get the flowers Carolyn had requested for thegraves. Such beautiful flowers....As I took the flowers up to the graves,something in me wanted to whisper, "they're from Mommy and Daddy." Therewere other flowers on the graves as well. Obviously there are others whocare." --Sara"

...As I pondered the events of a year ago, it tugged on my heart to send myhusband off to work and my two boys to school this morning. If you lovesomeone, tell them today. We never know if it will be the last chance wehave to do that." --Esther

Yes, it's been a tough time for me personally. It isn't easy facing anniversaries of such times. Continue to pray for Jeffs. I know it can't be an easy time for them. My prayer is not only that God would bring them continued comfort, but that He would begin filling their hearts with JOY!!!

One Year Ago...

2006-11-02T11:25:00.000-08:00

Can it be? One year ago that my five precious nieces and nephews were taken so suddenly in the automobile accident. My sister put it so beautifully. Read it here.

I sent the words of this card to my brother and sister-in-law.

The Lord has loved you through all your yesterdays...

He loves you now...

And He will love you through all your tomorrows.

I heard a pastor recently say,"With God timing is more important than time."

I have found so often his timing is perfect.Roy Lessin"The Lord appeared to us in the past and said, "I have loved you with aneverlasting love." Jer. 31:3

Thank you, God, for holding us as we remember again.

Graveyards or Cotton Candy?

2006-11-02T11:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, on all Saints' Day, most of the people in the country of Poland visited the graveyards. Every family grave must be cleaned, decorated with fresh wreaths, and candles lit to help the deceased on their road to Heaven. People travel many kilometers to visit the cemetery where your family is buried. Droves of people line the road on the way to the graveyard. Families gather to pay their respects to their relatives. The sit on the benches by the graves and visit, pray, or just think. My one friend told me that she doesn't have any family that has died so they put candles on soldiers' graves. Some people might visit 20 graves.

But, outside the cemetery, it is more like a carnival. Candles for sale of every shape and size, mums by the truckload, wreaths, balloons, food, and cotton candy. Cotton candy? In front of a graveyard? Seems completely out-of-place to me. But I do know that every year my children love if we buy a little of the sickenly sweet stuff.

To my family, this day is really not about the dead. It is more like cotton candy... a holiday... sleeping late... brunch... snacks... putting puzzles together... talking a walk... throwing frisbee... just a welcome break from the daily school routine.

That is how we celebrated the day yesterday. It was a wonderful day. And to top it off, in the evening, we made homemade donuts, to the delight of all the children (and the adults, too). Such fun memories!!!

Text message from John on my phone today: "Look out the window! It's snowing!"

The Piano Man

2006-10-24T08:14:00.000-07:00

I met him four years ago. This quiet, shrunken, grizzly man appeared at our door to tune our piano. Silently, he worked for several hours. He didn't talk more than he had to, but neither did we since we could hardly communicate in Polish.

This morning, he appeared again. Same man, same enormous glasses dangling by a string, same bags of interesting instruments to clean our piano and same slippers that he changed into at the door and shuffled to the living room.

Today he was here four hours. Again, he silently began his work. "Prosze, Pani!" he said one time and motioned me to the keyboard. There littered under the keys were layers of dust as well as a few treasures that had managed to squeeze between the keys. "Wiedzisz (you see)???" he said as he gravely shook his head. "How many years ago did I work on this piano? Six or seven?" I assured him that it had only been four. "Too long!" he continued. "You must have it cleaned every year!" I silently nodded my head. I felt properly reprimanded. He muttered to himself as he continued cleaning, polishing, and adjusting. I had never yet seen him smile.

He stopped two times to go outside and smoke. He asked once for a half cup of hot tea. I thought it would be rude to eat our lunch in front of him, so we asked him if he would like some soup. "Of course, but maybe later," and he once again concentrated intently on his work.

Finally, he was finished. We set the soup in front of him. "Um! This soup is good!" he said. And for the first time I saw him smile. In fact, I could tell he was enjoying it immensely. "Do you cook?" I asked him. "Seldom." He ate like he hadn't enjoyed food for a long time.

Once again, we gathered around the piano, thanking him for all his work. He took Alli's hands in his and helped her play "Happy Birthday." "Do you have grandchildren?" we asked him. A sadness fell over his face. "No, my son died before he had any children. My wife is dead. I'm alone." And he shrugged his thin shoulders in resignation.

My heart went out to him as he gave us this brief glimpse of his lonely life. We invited him to come back again. Will he? Will we have any more chances to influence his life? I like to recall the beaming smile that came over his face as he tasted the soup. Will we have more opportunities to bring joy to his lonely life?

I Feel Needed???!!!

2006-10-12T10:04:00.000-07:00

I am beginning to feel more like myself.

It feels like I'm finally finding my place here in Poland after being gone for two and one half months. That's a long time to be away from home. It's long enough to feel a disconnect with what was happening here. When I returned, it was hard to know what to do first...where I belonged...what events to talk about...how to enter into conversations about the summer... After all, when you are gone you just miss out on some things. That's life!

My heart warmed when my Polish friends contacted me the first week we were home. I remember one friend coming to visit me and saying, "It's so good to sit in Laura's house again. We missed you." And "this candle smells so familiar. It reminds me of the times I spent in Laura's house." Yes, those comments made me feel that I will never quite be deleted from my friends' memory, that I do have a place in their hearts. It was comforting to realize that I had friends here that actually missed me and that I can return and once again resume those relationship without starting over.

I well remember two years ago when I returned from furlough, I felt like I had lost some relationships that had taken a lot of time to develop. Some of the friendships that I had spent many hours cultivating seemed to stop abruptly with our leaving and never totally resumed in the same way after that. But this year, I feel like I have a more permanent place in their hearts and it isn't something that totally depends on my presence. What a good feeling!

It does feel good to know that I have a place that I feel needed. Every person longs for such a place. So, I will continue to build on the relationships that I can, and not spend time mourning for the friendships that never seemed meant to be.

Is There Healing???

2006-10-03T23:38:00.000-07:00

My heart goes out in deep sympathy to the families of the five children that were killed in the village of Nickel Mine. I know what it is to grieve for five children and I think that a situation such as this would be especially painful and tramautic. Is there healing?

How can one imagine the trauma and fear of the remaining children of this Amish school? I can't imagine the road they must walk through this valley of grief. I read that the teacher of this school said, "Me and the children need each other." So true! It is being together, facing the future together that they will begin to find healing.

It brought back starkly the deep grief that my brother and his wife faced (Can it be???!!!) now almost one year ago. When we visited them this summer, there were so many emotions for me to face once again. It was important for me to see them going on with their life, seeing them laughing and talking , crying with them again, and taking time to go see the five small gravestones in the pine-groved cemetary on the hill. How healing it was for me to be there! I felt that my heart had to catch up with the grieving that my family has been going through together for the past year. Yes, I can testify, there is healing! But memories still bring many tears.

So it isn't hard for me to grieve with the families in Pennsylvania right now. God will give them grace as he has given our family, God will help them laugh again even though right now it seems impossible, God will be there for them. This is my confidence! Thank God for His healing power!

My Children's Help

2006-09-25T13:12:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking today about what I would ever do without the help of my children.

They wash and dry my dishes...they hang up and fold most of my laundry...they sweep my floors...run countless errands...yes, they are the biggest help to me. They can never know how much I appreciate it.

Why, just today, I discovered in the afternoon (that is completely another story!!!) that I was going to have supper guests. After my moment of panic, I set about organizing. With some of their help, the floors were swept, the cabbage grated, the laundry folded, the bars baked, the table set, and the living room presentable when the guests walked in the door.

What a blessing!!! Five years ago I could have never gotten that accomplished!!! Thanks, children! I don't tell you enough how much I appreciate you. And I'll try to remember it even when the clean clothes are in piles on my bedroom floor, the dishtowels are strewn over the floor, and I stub my toe on the sweeper that hasn't been put away. I love you anyway! :)

Week without Hubby

2006-09-17T13:59:00.000-07:00

My dearest of husbands left yesterday to spend the week touring Poland with "Hope Singers 2006", a group of 25 singers directed by Lloyd Kauffman. They are giving programs in many different evangelical churches throughout the country. I heard them on Friday night for the first time and totally enjoyed their program.

Why is it that it isn't until your husband leaves you for a few days that you realize how much you love him, miss him, and can't function without him. I mean the house seems to echo his absence!!!

And I can't understand. I mean, my children hardly ever get sick. I can count on one hand the times they have been seriously ill in the last five years. Well, early yesterday morning soon before John left, Derek started throwing up. He was so sick all day. All I got done was rubbing his back, reading to him, making him more comfortable, and trying to get him to drink. My!!! What a day. And, of course, John was nowhere around. It was one of the longest days of my life. I was exhausted! But, PTL, that night he slept the whole night, and today started eating, so hopefully he is mending. And I'm praying that God will spare the rest of us. It was awful for the little guy.

Derek (lying on his bed after a trip to the bathroom): I feel pretty good, Mom, but my legs are dizzy.

Breathe a Little Prayer

2006-09-06T13:18:00.000-07:00

Yes, we're home...nearly a week now, in fact...but our stuff from our some of our suitcases still lies in stacks around us...the laundry from the trip is still drying on the lines...demands on our time are great...corn just harvested...tomatoes rotting in tubs...many unpredictables...school to be started...a choir to care about...legal matters to pursue...so just breathe a little prayer for us right now...and we're still so tired from jetlag...discouragement threatens...hoping to survive this month...

My Husband's Surprise

2006-07-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

Not long ago, John asked me, “Is there anything you would like to do yet before we go back to Poland?” I thought for a little and said, “You know it would be so lovely if just you and I could spend a little time together alone.”

Our trip has been wonderful in every way, although privacy is limited. Our family lives in a small apartment with room dividers, so snores can easily be heard from our sons’ rooms. After hours, John and I whisper and turn lights our early so we don’t disturb the children. So, maybe that is why I was thinking of a nice little getaway for just the two of us.

We had been talking about our anniversary that is coming up soon on August 4. We had decided together that we would just go out for a nice dinner and enjoy the evening together. I continually talked about the restaurants that might be possibilities for our evening date. And then later, we were going to take a family trip for two nights close to Astoria. This, we had decided, would be how we would celebrate.

But, yesterday, when I returned from shopping there was a big envelope waiting for me. I wondered who would be sending me a letter, and with no return address, it was impossible to know who this was from. I ripped open the envelope and pulled out a beautiful card, “For My Wife,” the card read. Oh, how romantic! John must have sent me a card, I thought as I eagerly began reading, ‘Many anniversaries from now, when we have been together for a long time, I wonder what it will be like...’I opened the card and out fell...a confirmation receipt for the honeymoon suite where we stayed the first night after our wedding!!! I was totally shocked. How did he manage to surprise me? I mean, I didn’t think I was that easy to surprise. Rarely has John been able to pull something over on me in the sixteen years we have been married. But here it was, planned, arranged, and paid for.

I couldn’t believe it!!! That is just about the most romantic thing he could have done for me!! How did he manage to get this all arranged with his busy schedule? And I used to think sometimes my husband wasn’t romantic???...well, he’s changed a lot in sixteen years. He brings me chocolate (often), buys me flowers (sometimes), surprises me with dates (occasionally), but he’s never planned a trip like this without me knowing...I still can’t believe he was thinking about what I might need now way back at the beginning of the summer. What a wonderful surprise!!! Thanks, John, you are the greatest!!!

My Question

2006-07-24T11:51:00.000-07:00

I have a question for you. I have been pondering this all month.

Do missionaries get spoiled when they come on furlough?

I was just reading the verse in Matthew where Jesus said that “to be first in the kingdom of God, you must be last and a servant to all.” That spoke to me. When I come to America, I feel so much like I’m the one being served all the time. When we set our feet on American soil, it’s like putting your feet up in a recliner for two months. I’ve noticed that everyone is at your beck and call.

I have a bad habit of saying things without thinking, like, “Oh, wouldn’t I love to have this,” or “Wouldn’t this be something useful,” or “We can’t get this in Poland” or “Wow! I forgot that I missed malted milk balls” when I’m shopping with my family and friends and next thing I know these things are mysteriously appearing on our door step. I probably have a better collection of CD’s, books, peanut butter, chocolate chips, bubble bath, and Bath and Body Works lotion in Poland than I ever would if I lived in America. Well, you say, just keep your big mouth shut. I know. I’m learning, I hope.

And I know people want to bless these ‘poor people that are giving their lives for the furtherance of God’s kingdom.’ And we do feel blessed by people’s generosity. I mean, I love getting gifts. All my friends know that. We have been overwhelmed at times with what people heap upon us, but I wonder sometimes, “Is this attention really good for us personally?”
And I think about my children. They think getting more things is normal. If someone comes to Poland without a gift for them, they feel slighted. Where is their gratitude? How can I teach them to be thankful?

Sometimes, I feel like we are just leading normal lives in Poland. We get grumpy just like in America, we have good and bad days, we get tired of our noisy neighbor ladies, too. There is nothing holy or grand about living in a foreign country. Oh, I’m sure there are sacrifices, but overall, we just live. We are normal human beings. We drive a car, live in a house, grow a garden, and mow our yards just like people here.

So, I’ve been thinking a lot this furlough about how I can bless my family and friends in America. I’ve been trying think of little ways I can help out even while on vacation. I want to learn to be a servant not only in Poland, but also while on “vacation” in America.

Two Questions

2006-07-18T11:32:00.000-07:00

The top two questions that people have asked us in the past month has been:

1. How does it feel to be home again?
2. What is it like over there in Poland?

The first question makes a knife turn in my heart. It makes me remember that I’m not even sure where my home really is. I love being here with family and friends, and being in my home state, but at the same time I have the horrible feeling of tears blurring my vision because I’m missing my home and friends in Poland.

The second question makes me want to answer “Duh, it’s just like here,” but I know that would be a very rude answer, so I politely tell them about the climate, the land, and the people. Americans seem surprised that we can grow gardens just like here. They seem surprised that a lot of people have cars. They seem surprised that we have apples and cherries and strawberries and blueberries just like Oregon. I’m not sure where they think we live. Maybe the tropics or Antartica??? (and please, if you were one of the question askers, please don’t take it personally, ok?)

I can’t describe the conflicting feelings of our time in America. We feel so happy and thankful that we could share in the happiness of two weddings, one a very close friend and one sister. And we are ecstatic that two nieces/nephews will be born while we are here. To us, that is extremely special. But then a cloud of sadness pervades our minds as we dread the first time meeting my brother and wife since the November accident and the death of their five children. Our grief makes it a valley of deep sadness and spring of never-ending tears.

It’s so invigorating and exciting to go out my front door and see the beautiful mountains of Oregon and I realize how much I have missed that in the last few years, but I admit missing the chatter of Polish around me, talking to my curious neighbor over the fence, the dogs barking incessantly, the roosters crowing at all hours. I can feel a bit guilty waking up in the morning and not being even sure what I’m going to do that day.

Furloughs are relaxing and stressful, fun and horrible, sad and happy, exciting and boring all at the same time. I can’t begin to describe the emotional journey that it has been for me personally. Don’t hear me saying we aren’t having a great time. I just didn’t realize the roller coaster of emotions that I would be facing right now.

To-Do List

2006-06-13T00:25:00.000-07:00

Our time right now is filled to the brim with:

1. Getting our house and garden ready to be gone for two months.
2. Buying wedding gifts and sewing wedding clothes.
3. Heaping "to take on furlough" things in a corner.
4. Making a photo album to show our friends in America.
5. Sorting through digital pictures of our work here to find the 100 that everyone will want to see on the slide show.
6. Preparing a table, brochures, and other items for our presentations.
7. Finishing up our first school year at Gateway to English.
8. Getting a "safari" made that will cover the school walls for the summer children's English lessons.
9. Brainstorming about what the summer lessons will include and worrying that everything will go smoothly.
10. Spending time in Warsaw with our yearly legal paperwork. Every year there are new wrinkles.
11. Having one precious afternoon and evening for just John and I (Thanks to Lavern and Lolita, our fellow Americans here).
12. Meeting with friends that are mourning the fact that we won't be here this summer.
13. Celebrating two birthdays before we leave.
14. Practicing our songs for the summer and weddings.We will be in states, Lord Willing, from June 19-August 30. (If you want more details about our trip, email me personally at jolasmucker@terramail.pl

Empty chairs

2006-06-03T13:26:00.000-07:00

Discouragement threatened to overwhelm me. Sunday after Sunday, the empty church chairs seemed to mock us. Were there no searching hearts in this country?

This particular Saturday, I was feeling especially blue. Maybe we shouldn't even be here in Poland, I thought bitterly. I sighed. "God," I prayed, "could you please just fill our chairs tomorrow morning at church."

Is that too much to ask? I thought to myself. After all, who else would come? When was the last time our church room was full?

The next morning, sitting in church, I thought, It seems full this morning. Then I blinked my eyes in surprise. Were my eyes playing tricks on me? I looked around. All but ONE very front chair in the whole room had a person sitting on it.

"Thank you, God," I prayed. Such a small request, a small answer, but how it strengthened my faith. What a great God I serve. He even cares about our empty church chairs.

No Achohol???

2006-05-31T09:05:00.000-07:00

I couldn't believe my eyes! But that's what the sign said. "No achohol will be sold in this store on the days of May 25,26."

What's going on here? What are the people in this town going to do if they can't buy beer for two days?! I mean beer is bought here like Coke or some other soft drink.

But why? That was my question. Why aren't they selling beer on these two specific days?

John asked his tutee and this is what he told him. The pope is coming to Poland on this weekend and all the cities he will be visiting will not sell achohol during the duration of his visit! It feels a little like God is coming to visit this country. I guess our little store in Minsk was just honoring his visit to the country, becausethe pope wasn't planning to stop in our town.

But that doesn't stop the achoholics, John's tutee told him. They just stock up the day before for the days that none will be sold in the stores.

I heard that Pope Benedict held a mass in Warsaw. Almost 300,000 people attended! One lady commented on the news, "I know that this pope isn't Polish or anything, but we still think of him as our pope."

This German pope--we heard he was a former German soldier (!!!???)--is visiting Auschwitz to pray for the departed souls that were cruelly killed there, and of course, he is visiting Southern Poland, the home of the former pope, the beloved Pope John Paul II, who was a Pole and died just over one year ago and would have made his regular visit to his home country this year.

To my ears, all this seems very strange. Something isn't right here. This country honors this man enough to even control what is sold in their stores, but where is their respect for God? God is present in this country every day of the year, but that doesn't stop the sin around us. That doesn't make any difference in their everyday lives. That doesn't stop stores from selling their beer.

But one weekend visit from the great Pope of the Roman Catholic Church is considered a sacred historical event and changes even the merchandise that stores are selling across this country. I'm still shaking my head.

One of Those Days...

2006-05-27T02:14:00.000-07:00

How can I explain how I felt? It was one of those times that my heart sunk to the very tip of my little toe.

I was happily sewing my last dress for the summer season, feeling a great feat was about to be accomplished. How I wanted to celebrate after this last seam was finished! With gusto, I pressed the pedal a bit harder. What in the world? The pieces didn't match up. One was a good 6 inches shorter than the other. Did I get the wrong piece? Impossible--this was the last piece to put together!! Maybe I got ahold of the scraps? I looked carefully. I examined it closely. What was the problem. Then I noticed a big, jagged gouge cut right out of the bottom of my skirt!!! Oh, no!

Then I turned to look into two guilty eyes. "Mom, I thought that was your scraps. I didn't know it was your dress." Her eyes pleaded me to understand. And really, it was my fault. I always allowed Allison to play sewing with the scraps of material while I sewed. I had lain the skirt on a nearby table and how did she know that it wasn't the scraps that I usually lay aside?

I can't describe the feeling I had at this moment. I wanted to be angry, but at whom? I wanted to cry, but for what? Really, there was nothing to do. I couldn't cut another skirt because there wasn't enough material. I couldn't hide it in a seam, because it was to big of a hole. So, after laying aside all my pride at the thought of my beautiful new Sunday dress, I patched it, and decided it will be my first beautiful house dress. A lesson learned indeed!

Latest Joke

2006-05-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

Recent conversation heard between my two youngest:

Derek: Alli, I have a joke for you. If you were going to be executed...
Alli: Whhhhat? What's that?
Derek: You know, like getting your head chopped off...now, if you were going to be killed which room would you choose?
Alli: (from the shower) Whhhhhhhhaaaattttt?
Derek: (repeats joke)
Alli: Whhhhhhhhaaaaaaaattttt?
Derek: Okkkayyy! (sigh) I'll say it one more time (repeats)
Alli: Derek, I can't hear you!!!!!!
Derek: Alliiiiii, you have your ears covered.
Alli: Derek, just wait until I get out of the shower. Ok?
Derek: I won't tell it then.
Alli: Okkkkayyyyy! Tell me again.
Derek: Now, if you were going to be killed which room would you choose? a room with lions that hadn't eaten in three years, a room with a fire, or a room full of soldiers?
Alli: uuuuuuhhhhhmmmmmm! None of them!!!
Derek: You HAVE to choose one!!!
Alli: Ok, I think a room with fire.
Derek: Hee! hee! hee! hee! A room with lions that haven't eaten for three years. 'Cuz they'd be dead. Hee! Hee!

Weekend Retreat

2006-05-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

Our small church group here spent this weekend together at a local church retreat. This place is run by a dedicated Christian couple that work hard to give you a wonderful time. We had such a good time connecting and learning to know each other in new ways.

One of the purposes of the weekend was to give everyone that attends our church a chance to tell their life story and show how God has worked in their personal lives. This was scary for most of us, but especially those who aren't used to being open about themselves. It was so encouraging. We heard how God protected specifically one man's life during the war and how God pursued him until he was ready to give his whole life to God.

A dear sister shared that she was Catholic when she married a Christian man, and it took 13 years before she gave her heart to God. Another sister found that in loneliness God spoke to her and that he was faithful as He was drawing her to himself. A new Christian testified that little details in her life pointed her to God and she remembered exact times that God knocked on her door. We saw God at work in all our lives, but in many different situations.

We all had our story and how God moved and worked in our lives...through joy...through pain...through tradegy...through family...through church. We spent time praying over each person individually and this again was something new, but very special for the Polish people and all of us.

We enjoyed a bonfire, roasted marshmallows, endured mosquitos, enjoyed after-hour snacks, solved a treasure hunt, built balloon towers with scotch tape, sang together, encouraged each other, searched for a lost dog, laughed, cried, and prayed together.

And the setting was so peaceful. Sometimes living in town, I forget how fresh and clean nature is. And how good the air smells, how sweetly birds sing, how the wind whispers through the trees. We returned home refreshed and ready to renew our responsibilities this week. Thank you, God, for giving us this time of drawing us all together.

Our Four children

2006-05-11T12:59:00.000-07:00

Since I figured out how to post pictures, I will share some pictures we took of the children for our prayer cards. Meet our family:

Allison age 6

Derek age 7
Austin age 11Conrad age 13

Chocolate Chips!!?? Oh, Joy!!!

2006-05-11T01:06:00.000-07:00

Now, I know you won't understand how estatic I was when I found bags of chocolate chips in my freezer, but it made me quite happy.

Poland stores, with their aisles overflowing in European chocolate, don't sell a single chocolate chip. I have tried to use their wonderful chocolate bars and create, you know, "chocolate chunk" recipes. But since it isn't baking chocolate, the chocate runs everywhere in a sticky mess. So, whenever possible I ask friends to bring me chocolate chips from America.

When John's nephews came for a visit in February, I sent them a list of things that they could fill their suitcases with if they had room. Of course, I included chocolate chips. I failed to tell them, though, that I was then using my last bag. I was indeed grateful for the two bags they brought, but I realized that it wouldn't last until furlough.

So, I began scouring my recipe books for cookie recipes, cakes, and things that don't take chocolate chips. In my opinion, a cookie just isn't quite a cookie unless it is dotted with chocolate. I resigned myself to making desserts like raisin drops, carrot cake, chess cake bars, peanut butter cookies, molasses crinkles, and snickerdoodles. I even found myself even enjoying the new discovered recipes.

But, the other day, you can't imagine my joy when I opened my freezer to find, yes, a whole stack of chocolate chip bags at the bottom of my freezer. Oh, wonderful!!! I can't think who brought them or when, but are they ever good.

First, I had to eat a whole handful just to make sure they were real. And now, I'm beginning to think about chocolate chip cookies, blond brownies, cheesecake brownie dessert, and all the other cookie recipes I have loaded with these magical chips that I can once again indulge in until summer.

2006-05-09T04:07:00.000-07:00

The dear 95 year old believer we met in Ukraine. She was preparing dinner when we arrived, but she had time to tell us all about her life. You would be amazed at the stories she can tell about her life and how God has kept her through the years.

Memories! Memories! Memories!

2006-05-07T07:20:00.000-07:00

How can we possibly put into words our weekend trip? Another country, another language, a completely different world for us. Wayne and Connie Hursh and family sent us a list of memories.

1. Bumpy Berezyanka Road.
All the roads were bumpy, but the one to the Berezyanka village to go to church Sunday morning took the prize. Think roller coaster, think huge potholes, think about driving a truck through a field, think about hills and valleys. Yes, it was really that bad.

2. Visiting Baba Anya, and listening to her inspiring stories.
What a dear lady and what a testimony. She is 95 years old, lives by herself in this poor apartment, up five flights of steps, and she can't stop talking about how God has kept her during her life. She has been a church member for 10 years now and a vibrant Christian. She continually thanks God that she can still read the Bible.

3. Mt. Dew from Poland!
We blessed Wayne's with a case of Mountain Dew and they were so happy with the luxury. I also stuck in some frappe, some cream of mushroom soup, and some other goodies from Poland.

4. Making the holy candles into irreverent cinnamon rolls and snakes.
We spent one day in the capital city, Kiev. We visited a catacomb beneath an Orthodox church, where, as I understand it, priests are encased in glass coffins and people can go there to pray to them. All the women and girls had to cover their heads and wear skirts. We carried beeswax candles during our "pilgrimage" and they were still quite long by the end. We were enjoying bending them into all sorts of shapes when an orthodox priest nearby took great offence. These people are devout and very conservative.

5. Visiting the Tall man and his outhouse.
Did you know the tallest living man lives in a poor little house in Ukraine and works in his garden with his mother when he could be world famous and make money just letting everyone shake his enormous hand? Wayne and Connie took us with them to deliver a seed parcel to him to use in his garden. He is 8 feet and 4 inches tall. His shoes are size 27 and were specially made by a believing cobbler that Waynes knew about. I had to think of Goliath when I saw him and how scared David must have been. And the outhouse was another story. Connie says their children have learned to hold their bladders for maybe even 7 hours at a time. But we all needed a bathroom NOW, so we walked out around their buildings to find...well, just imagine about the stinkiest outhouse you ever saw.

6. McDonalds in Kiev.
What a treat for all the children. Waynes live about 2 hours from Kiev in a small village. The day we were in the city we had to visit the double arches. Was it ever tasty!

7. Swarming Cemetery
We were there over an Orthodox holiday. Families assemble at the graveyards and eat lunch at the picnic tables at the cemetery. On the grave of their loved ones they place some meat, egg, and drink, I think it was, for their departed has something to eat. By the next morning, it has disappeared. Unfortunately, it isn't the departed that has eaten, but all the drunks in the country get quite a feast one day in the year.

8. Conrad's somersault bikeride and the mountain pie supper.
We were impressed how beautiful the country was. Lakes everywhere. Not far from Waynes was a lake that we drove to for a mountain pie supper to celebrate Meesha's birthday. Yummy! Was it ever good! On the way home, it was very dark, and Conrad was riding a bike that needed to get home. He rode between the two vans so he could see where to go. Well, he didn't see everything. He was riding quite fast when his front bike wheel landed in a small deep hole, flipped him over the handlebars and the bike landed on top of him. He crawled out without any broken bones although he was a little sore the next day.

9. Blowing Bubbles of fun!

10. Beautiful singing by our two families!

11. Connie and Laura's love life stories! :)

And...we could tell you yet about our three encounters with the Ukrainian policemen, the four hour wait at the border, how familiar and good Poland looked when we crossed over the border...but that would take a lot more of your time. It was a good experience to see another culture, visit another mission and see how they do things, and just get encouragement from other Americans surviving in foreign countries.

Off for the Weekend

2006-04-26T12:16:00.000-07:00

We are ready for the adventure of the year. We are leaving early Friday morning to head to visit friends in the country of Ukraine for a long weekend. We expect the trip to last 9 hours, and then however long it takes to get through the border. Today, when Conrad was inspecting all the food purchases for the trip, he said, "I can't wait to go. There is so much good food to eat." We are all excited. It will be kind of a extended field trip for the children. So, bon voyage! We will give a report upon return. Pray for us as we go. Driving here in these countries can be hazardous.

Mountaintops

2006-04-23T23:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend was what I would call a "mountaintop experience" for our small group here in Poland.

Sometimes we can feel discouraged in dwindling numbers. We watch friends in whom we have invested much time and energy walk away from the truth that they once embraced. We see them making wrong choices that will affect their future and destiny. We cry. We pray. We wait. God knows their hearts better than we do, but it tears at our hearts.

But this past weekend, we had Polish visitors from Torun. They were all former Jehovah's Witnesses and one man shared his moving testimony with our group. Although we had invited friends and acquaintances, only a handful showed up. But those of us that experienced this day felt uplifted. This man had been an elder and preacher in the JW organization for many years. He sometimes spoke to audiences of 5000. He was sincere in wanting to do right, but the more he studied the more confused he became as he realized that what he was teaching was contrary to the Word of God. He resigned from the JWs and faced a lot of shunning. He now travels throughout Poland when given the oppurtunity and shares what God has done in his life.

He took time to answer any informative questions we had about the JWs, but his great love for these people showed through in a marvelous way, because he never attacked the people personally. He was only telling about their misguided zeal. He is now involved with former JWs, helping them to begin growing in their relationship with God.

He told us that the JWs are the third largest religion in Poland--the first being Roman Catholic, the second, Greek Orthodox, and the third Jehovah's Witnesses.

What an inspiration! And it was good for our Polish friends that come to our services to meet other Polish Christians and share their lives together. I was happy to see some exchanging of addresses, phone numbers, etc.

We need moments like these that give us courage to go on. And even when we watch our friends walking away from God through tear-dimmed eyes, we know that God loves them more than we ever could and pray that He will meet them where they are and lead them back to Himself.

This and That

2006-04-12T00:03:00.000-07:00

SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF SPRING ~ ~ ~
The air is beginning to smell like spring. There is a soft feeling instead of the harshness of cold. Last night I heard RAIN!!!! How exciting! It was a comforting sound to hear the pit-pat-pitter-pat on the metal window framesas I drifted off to sleep. Yesterday, I saw the first crocuses poking theirbrave little heads out of the ground. Nothing like living through a long,gray winter to make spring colors look so beautiful. Did you ever notice how vivid the first colors of spring are???

CREATIONS AND PROJECTS AND OTHER MENTIONABLES ~ ~ ~
Derek decided the other day that he wants to make a rock tumbler. Anyone know what that is? Lolita's dad told Austin that he should get one to polish his rock collection. Well, we checked them out on the internet and they are quite expensive, so we told Austin that it will have to wait for a birthday. And besides, who has a month to wait for a rock to be smoothed and polished in a little noisy machine. So, Derek says he is going to make one. He and Alli cut holes on each side of margarine containers and threaded a rough stick through it to turn it. Filling the container with sand, and adding some "rocks in the rough", he goes outside to start turning his rock. "If it takes the machine a week to make a nice rock," Derek declared, "I can get one done in two weeks, 'cuz I will turn it half of the day." Unfortunately,the enthusiasm lasted about one hour and now the rock tumbler sadly sits with all the other unfinished projects. Any bidders?

REPORTS AND FINISHING SCHOOL ~ ~ ~Just when the dark tunnel of school seemed that it would overwhelm us, webegan to see a glimmer of hope at the end. The children are getting excited to be finishing up some of the their books for another year. Of course, that means more time to write stimulating reports and stories and fun stuff like that. Although I am ready for school to be finished so I can concentratemore intently on sewing and cleaning and preparing for this summer, I always love the last few weeks of school when the work load lightens and spirits are more cheerful.

SUSPENSE AND TRAVAIL OF WAITING ~ ~ ~
How much money is too much for a 2 acre piece of property with an unfinished house on it? We have been interested in different properties off and on this past year. We found a property of our dreams, but the price was exhorbant. John went a while back to meet with the owners to discuss a compromise. At the end of the meeting they were still 100,000zl apart in price (about $32,000) and John doesn't want to go any higher. So we are waiting for a miracle. John asked the local real estate man what this property was worth and the man told him a little more than half what it is listed. So, we will wait. It is the Lord's hands. We are hoping the owners will want to sell it so badly that they will come down on their price. But again, we feel that it would be a miracle really since they have already lowered it considerably. So, keep praying with us for this situation. We do want God's will and want to be content if this isn't where He wants us. But doesn't God also like to surprise us with the impossible!!!???? :)

Auschwitz--There were Four Million

2006-03-28T23:47:00.000-08:00

What a sad history Poland has!!! What other country in the world do people travel to specifically to visit concentration and death camps? And our guests are no exceptions. All of them want to see a concentration camp. And I don't blame them. But, a wave of nausea crawls over me each time I step inside. And this time with our nephews was the same.

"Work Bring Freedoms" proclaims an iron sign at the entrance of Auschwitz in Southern Poland. How many people that were herded through this place believed this? Many Jews had been promised better farms and so had brought all their earthly possessions with them. The pile of suitcases behind glass is a grim reminder of the reality of what happened here. You can't imagine the un-Christian feelings that arise within you when you see evidence of this cruelty.

A visitor's personal feelings in our travel book tell my feelings exactly,

When you go in there's a sign in five languages that says, "There were four million."

I broke down about halfway around Auschwitz, walking away from the wall against which 20,000 people were shot. There's a shrine there now; schoolgirls were laying flowers and lighting candles.

But it wasn't that particular detail that got to me. And it wasn't the stark physical evidence in earlier blocks of the conditions in which people had lived, sleeping seven or nine together on the straw in three-high tiers the size of double beds.

It wasn't the enormous glass-fronted displays in which, on angeled boards sometimes dozens of feet long, lay great piles of wretchedly battered old boots, or children's shoes. It wasn't the bank of suitcases, their owner's names clumsily written on them in faded paint, or the heaps of broken spectacles, of shaving brushes and hairbrushes.

It wasn't the case the length of a barrack room in the block whose subject was 'Exploitation of Corpses', the case filled with a bank of human hair, or the small case to the one side of that, showing the tailor's lining that was made from it.

It wasn't the relentless documentary evidence, the methodical, systematic, compulsive bureaucracy of mass murder.

And it wasn't the block beside the yard in which the shrine now stands, in whose basement are the 'standing cells' used to punish prisoners, measuring ninety by ninety centimeters (3 feet x 3 feet). People were wedged together into these bare brick cubicles, and left to starve or suffocate pinned helplessly upright. In other cells in the same basement, the first experiments with Zyklon B as a means of mass extermination were conducted.

It was all of these things cumulatively crushing you, a seeping evil from every wall and corner of the place, from every brick of every block, until you reach your limit and it overwhelms you. For a short while I found myself crying, leaning against the wire. Like they tell you--the birds don't sing.

Pete Davies "All Played Out"

Even though you have seen holocaust museums, there is nothing like visiting the actual site of such unhuman treatment. The reality washes over you as step inside the actual rooms where all this cruelty took place.

And, yes, even though it's horribly sad, if you come to visit me I will take you to a concentration camp if that's where you want to go, but I would rather take you to historical Old Towns and beautiful palaces because there we can think happy thoughts about Poland's history.

Derek's Love Language

2006-03-27T00:08:00.000-08:00

All my children love in different ways. Conrad's love language is quality time. Austin's is physical touch and Allison's is probably words of affirmation (haven't figured hers out completely yet.) But Derek's love language is the most obvious of all. He gives gifts.

Many times he gives me a drawing or a note or some paper craft that he has made just for me. On Valentine's Day, he hung a big red heart in the office. "I love you, Mom and Dad" it said. On my birthday, he gave me a special blank book that he had made himself. When the flaps were opened, they again revealed part of his heart. On Mother's Day it was an elaborate card with his love written inside. His eyes always glow when his gifts are aknowledged and accepted. (And of course, he especially enjoys when I exclaim with oohs! and aahs!)

Our recent trip to Cracow was one of those times. We traveled by train with John's two nephews for a fun two days exploring Cracow and also visiting Auschwitz (more on that in another post). We shopped on the town square and although most of it was window shopping for us, I always enjoy helping others shop and loved helping the nephews find gifts for their families.

Finally, we were seated on the train ready to come home. Derek's eyes sparkled as he handed me a paper-wrapped gift. "I bought it for you, Mama," he said. I carefully unwrapped it. Inside was a wooden plate with a scene from Cracow beautifully burned into the grain.

"You bought it for me, Derek? with your very own money? It's so pretty!"

"Yep, I had twenty zloties at home and this costed me twelve." He giggled nervously.

A lump rose in my throat. I wanted to squeeze him tightly. He had almost spent his last penny to buy a gift for me, his mom, and he was beaming happily. And that is my Derek. I know without a doubt that he loves me.

When we arrived home, I found a prominent nail in the office and hung it up to remind me of his selfless love to me. I tenderly rubbed my hand over the image burnt into the wood. Thank you again, Son. I will treasure this gift as long as I live!

That Same Little Girl

2006-03-12T12:29:00.000-08:00

Dear H A
you tow are invitede to a teapartea
on wenssday
come whit your hats

from Allison

This is the note I found in our email sent folder this morning.....ahhem! The mother hadn't been consulted previously, so it came as a shock to get an email in reply to the invitation. Oh, dear! How do you retract an invitation to her dear friends without offending them???? Life gets interesting when little ones learn to read and write, doesn't it?

The same little girl recieved new girlie PJs as a present from Aunt Dorcas this week. She was so proud of them, she flounced around in them for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

The same little girl was delighted to get a personal invitation to Corleen and Alison's new apartment for a tea party. All the little girls were to bring their hats (BTW, do you think that is what inspired the above email invite.) Dressing for this party was quite an ordeal. Complete with a hat, shawl, "broach", handbag and long coat, this giggling little girl was on her way to the beginning of a fun afternoon that all little girls seem to have when they get together. Is she old enough for this already???? It seems like only yesterday that I was that little girl.

A Diaper or Dapper Bag???

2006-02-23T01:57:00.000-08:00

"I am going to OH tomorrow for a school reunion that will be this Saturday. It's been 9 years since we've had one. I'm secretly hoping that the other girls have matronly shapes, too. (: I dug an elegant little purse out of the closet to replace my diaper bag!"

My friend in my writer's workshop sent the above quote to our group. Another writer answered with this email.

"And, by the way, matronly shapes are a sign of a noble calling. Go in delight. Would you really rather be a slender single girl?"

I've been thinking a lot about this. How many times during my children's infancies, had I longed to exchange my diaper bag for my dapper bag? When I would stand beside a young slender slip of a girl, I would think about my pear shape. When I looked into the mirror and see bags under my eyes, I would think about the many sleepness nights. When a friend would tell me all she accomplished in one day, I would think about my interupted schedules. When I would think how young my children were, I was tempted to think that this stage would go on forever.

Now, when I look back, I wonder, Where was my delight? Deep in my heart did I really want to trade? But who would trade?...The joy of first motherhood?...the first baby smiles?...the first baby steps?...the first cute words?...watching them learn to ride trike and then bike?...teaching them to read?...watching the joy in their eyes with a new puppy?...seeing them growing every year and maturing?...would I have wanted it any different?

What would I want to exchange? and what for? beauty? fame? a lovely shape? more time for myself? a career? self image?

When I'm tempted to change my "diaper" for a "dapper" bag, Lord, help me look at my four blessings. Help me to delight totally in my calling as a mother. After all, according to the Bible, our children are a heritage of the Lord. They are the crown of old men, like arrows in our hands, and like olive plants around our table. What a beautiful picture of the future when I'm feeling discouraged about today!

2006-02-20T06:37:00.000-08:00

Dear family and friends,

Some of you know that we have been keeping our eyes open over here for a house to buy. We have rented this present house for five years, and although we could live here the rest of our lives, it isn't a place that we would be interested in buying because it isn't ideal for our family.

Property prices are definitely rising in this area. We have seen an increase in the past two years. We have looked at various places and have even had serious interest in some of them, but it seems that God hasn't opened the door for us to buy yet. We are once again seeking His will and would ask you to join us.

John went with Jacek to look at a property this past weekend. We decided that I wouldn't go along since the price seemed unaffordable and it seemed senseless for both of us to waste our time chasing dreams.

When John returned, he told me, "I have just seen the place of our dreams." The property is 2-3 miles from Minsk. It is a 2.5 acre place with a simple looking unfinished house in a small village (note attached pictures). There is a pond in the back and a big place for garden and animals. The place is surrounded on three sides by forest and part of it is a national park. (Never knew we had a national park in Minsk). They see wildlife and lots of birds from the place. It looks like it has 3-5 bedrooms plus a big two-car garage that would have possibilities for a separate VS quarters. But it is VERY unfinished. We don't know how much it would cost to finish, but we are guessing a substantial amount. All the walls are built and the roof is on, the septic is there, but that is about all. The price seems on the high side to us, but we would need to get it assessed to make sure. So, why did John even go look at it if it isn't an option? Is there a reason or are we being unrealistic?

Please pray with us:
1. That God would give us clear direction about whether or not to buy a place in Poland, and specifically this place.
2. That the owners would consider a substantially lower offer.
3. That if we would buy this, we could find a trustworthy person to sign with us to make it legal.
4. That we can be content with God's answer to us.

Right now, it feels quite impossible, but we know all things are possible with God.
Thanks,
John, Laura, and children

The Rest of the Story

2006-02-18T09:41:00.000-08:00

For one week our red limousine was in the shop. There were many things to fix. This meant no vehicle for us at all. We live on the edge of town. What are legs for anyway? We found out this week. We've learned that when walking,

--allow plenty of extra time because it will take longer than you think.
--beware of road water that cars throw like a tsunami toward the pedestrians on the sidewalks.
--walkways can be icy during the winter months. Wear sensible footwear and avoid shiny spots.
--scraped sidewalks are a one-way street. Please yield to oncoming pedestrians.
--stray dogs follow pedestrians all the way to your front gate.
--buy in small quantities when at the grocery store. Every ounce seems to become a pound heavier with each quarter-mile.
--think and plan ahead and avoid extra trips.
--remember that you always wanted time for your daily exercise program.
--don't think of the taxi you could have called for $3.
--you become more thankful for your reliable? transportation.

So, for one day we had our limousine parked in front of our house. Finally, this fiasco was over. We can get down to normal life once again and put all these problems behind us. After all, they take up a lot of time to track down all the things needed.

This morning, our friends asked if they could borrow the limo for a day trip to Lublin. Ok, why not? Nothing like getting your van one day and losing it the next. They graciously left theirs in our driveway in case we needed anything.

Well, this afternoon, Lavern calls...."Hey, I'm having a little problem with your van." What can be wrong now? "We got back to your van after walking the town to find the side window totally busted out, and glass everywhere. Lolita's purse with my cell phone and 70 PLN were swiped from inside. No, they didn't take the car registration, thankfully." oh, great...just when we thought life was getting easy...so back to the shop we go...what more, God, what more?

Table for Two Anywhere?

2006-02-14T10:37:00.000-08:00

Valentine's day has always had a bad omen in our relationship. Sixteen years ago, on the 14th of February, shortly after we were engaged, I was attending winter Bible School and John was teaching school. Our contact was only by phone and mail (email hadn't been invented yet). My mailbox was strangely empty over Valentine's Day. Nothing from my beloved!!! How can this be? My imagination ran wild... John is trying to tell me it is all over between us... maybe something will come tomorrow... He doesn't love me anymore... Well, poor John. He never once thought about Valentine's Day until he recieved my life-sized card in the mail. He rushed to the stores that evening only to find that all the cards had been removed from the shelves and Easter cards were taking their place. The next day, in desperation, he sent me a big bouquet of roses... which of course I should have loved... and they were gorgeous... but somehow I couldn't forget that they were one day late...

Well, since then, John has never forgotten Valentine's Day. He hasn't dared. But it doesn't mean everything goes as planned. And last Valentine's Day was no exception. He arranged for everything (almost) and off we went to find a romantic restaurant with a table for two. Well, in our town of 36,000 the options are quite slim. We went one...two...three fine restaurants, only to discover all of them had no room for the evening. All the tables were reserved. What in the world? There were no restaurants left to try. What should we do? Ok, fine, pizza would do. So across town we hurried. As we drove past the front door, we saw the crowded entry way. We couldn't get pizza to take out to a park in the middle of winter. What should we do? The only decent place left was a fast food chicken restaurant. There were plenty of tables (no wonder! What other couple would reserve a romantic supper-for-two at Kentucky Fried Chicken?) We ordered at the counter and found a little private table in the back of the place. We were enjoying at least an evening together, when the owner came through the restaurant and placed little half-burned tea lights on each table. Nice try, I thought. Who can make atmosphere happen in a McDonalds? We couldn't help it. We looked at each other and started laughing. It was really too funny.

Yesterday, but I had to think of it and grin, when John remembered with consternation that he had rescheduled his yesterday classes for tonight, Valentine's Evening. At the moment, he couldn't think that we usually have plans on Tuesday eveings. Well, if he would have consulted his daily planner that he faithfully keeps, he would have seen a short note "Don't forget Valentine's Day" to remind him of important issues of the heart.

As it turned out, ironically, there was no need to reserve a table for tonight. Maybe... next year??

Dilemma of the Old Red Limousine

2006-01-31T01:52:00.000-08:00

It all started when the guy that lives with us flattened the front of our vehicle when he met another vehicle when sliding through an icy intersection.

No, let's back up. A few weeks prior, I was taking Allison to the dentist. Now in Poland parking spaces are all meant for compact fiats not mini vans. I was wheeling into a promising looking parking spot when I kissed the fender of an innocent car beside me. Horrified, I parked and climbed out. I rubbed the scratch and it seemed to disappear to my relief. I needed to find the owner, but I had no idea where he was in the three floors of this public building. And what would I do if I did find him. I had no idea how to tell him in Polish what happened. Many bumpers in Poland sport dents and scratches, but I still wanted to be honest. I took Allison into the building and when I returned later, I saw the car speeding away. I still feel a tinge of guilt about that.

But back to my story. The same day, I rode with John and sat in the car while he was doing some business stops. Wouldn't you know...a little car backed right smack into the front fender of our van with a thud. It must have been a prediction of things to come because there have been no end of problems sinc.

Now, after the accident the taillights worke, but after the body was repaired they stopped. Now this isn't such a good idea, since in Poland it is mandatory that headlights be used 24 hours a day from October to March. I had to take our Polish teacher home one night. I was nervous because I could see darkness was coming. So, I did the little step-on-the-brake when another car was following me, but it always made me nervous that when I would try to actually stop, the behind car wouldn't be able to tell. I breathed a sigh of relief when that was fixed.

But now, the red limousine has another idosycracy. The car won't go into park, so when you need to start the car, you must put it into neutral. And of course, if you park on a bit of a hill, it will roll without the emergency brake. So, again I had to drive my Polish teacher around town. I stopped at two stores and each time I had to set the brake. I too late remembered that John said it was rather hard to release it, but I soon found that out. I pushed and pushed with my left foot, only to discover that it wasn't going to budge. So, I opened my door, stepped down and pushed with my right foot. It released suddenly and at the same time began to roll backwards. I heard a gasp from the backseat as I hopped onto the driver's seat and pressed the brake. Whew! This scene repeated itself, exactly. I was worn out. I returned home as quickly as possible and informed my husband that this is ridiculous. Something else is going to happen if we don't get it fixed. He solemnly agreed, but who knows when.

So, for now, we are reversing when we are actually parking, driving when we want to be in neutral, and never able to exactly park. The joys of the old red limousine. I'm wiping my brow wondering what will happen next.

Home??? Where is that?

2006-01-29T13:24:00.000-08:00

When we lived in America on the way town, my boys would count basket ball hoops... now they count roadside shrines. When we lived in America, my children never rode on trains... now they are quite familiar with all kinds of public transportation, trains, trams, buses, and metro... When we lived in America, my children wouldn't have thought twice about the cashiers at Walmart... now they whisper in amazement, Mom, that lady speaks English!!!...

My children talk about rondos, markets, street vendors, tutors, bigos, pierogis, gates and fences, drunks, Warsaw, and fiats like they are normal life. Which indeed they are!!! Their world has expanded to a new culture. In fact, this is the culture they know. This is their home!

I always get ecstatic when I think about furlough. My heart hammers as I think of this summer and the ten weeks we will spend in America. For me, I will be returning home, to the comfortable, the familiar, the life I knew. But for my children, they will be leaving their home. For them it will be like entering a new culture. They can't understand why mom gets so excited about Wal-Mart, cantalope, roast beef, cran-raspberry juice, chai, turtle brownie mixes, carmels, and malted milk balls.

Mom, what's an RV? my son asked me one day when he was reading. Why would he know? Where had he ever encountered that word before?

One of my friends asked me if I would like to move back to America someday. Would I really? I think of the shopping, being with family and friends, and the joy of being surrounded by a Christian community. Yes, I do miss America. It isn't easy replanting to a new culture. But then I think of the blessings we have encountered here, the stretching God has brought us through, the relationships that have developed, I wonder, Am I really the same person that came here almost five years ago? Could I be happy anywhere else? For now, God has placed us here and I'm content with that. The most important isn't where you live, but if you are living in the place where God wants you.

As my good friend Crystal always tells me, "Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." a quote by Jim Elliot.

Allison (after Conrad tells her to hurry up because all the rest of the family is done eating and want to get down from the table), "I'm teaching all of you patience."

Tea Treasures

2006-01-28T12:52:00.000-08:00

What better atmosphere for opening hearts than sitting around a candlelit room sipping cups of tea? Once every two months, we open our homes in this way and invite our friends and students to get together and share their hearts with one another. This isn't always easy for them. Normally, they are very private people and only have one or two close friends. And most of them are not believers.

Our theme for the evening was "Treasures" and each woman was to bring something that represented treasure to her and tell us why. It was amazing some of the original things that the ladies brought...a ring of car keys (it meant that her husband was home with her son and she had an evening all to herself)...a locket (the picture of her mother and grandfather was priceless and the memories precious)...a wedding ring (the love of her husband)...a dried rosebud (the rose that her husband gave to her before they were married and was romantic and before he became so practical)...an old stuffed cat (a handmade stuffed animal that was passed back and forth between her and her sister over the years)...the invitation to the tea party (she loves meeting new people)...a journal (the love notes passed between her and her boyfriend)...a book about friendship (with blank pages filled with memories and was a gift from her friend)...a bunch of letters tied with a pink ribbon (letters written during a ten year friendship)...a photo album (pictures of her daughter)...each of these things represented something of value to these ladies. It was obviously women getting together because most of the sharing was about relationships. :) Then, we drew their minds to the greatest treasure in our lives, the Lord Jesus Christ. It was a lovely evening.

Every tea party is unique and this one was no exception. There is always lots of food to sample, comforting tea to drink, and laughter to share and friends to connect with. We each had to sample each of the four different tea breads that had been prepared and were placed on all of the little tables scattered about the room.

We hope and pray that each woman will leave these teas with a thoughtful heart and that this can open their hearts to the love of God in their own personal lives.

Some comments from the ladies after various teas:

"I love the peaceful atmosphere."
"I love drinking out of china."
"What a wonderful chance to forget my daily troubles and routine and just relax."
"It's magical, like a fairy tale."
"It makes me think in a different way. We don't have this kind of thing in this country."
"Your lives have calmness, I wish I had such a great faith."
"We never talk to other people like this. We only talk about weather, family, husbands, boyfriends, and work."
"I must go home and think. I have a lot to ponder."

It's Cold

2006-01-21T07:15:00.000-08:00

Just when we think winter can't get colder, it does. It doesn't often get below zero, but it is now and seems to be here to stay.Today we woke up and it was snowing. Because of the cold weather, my window sills were already coated with ice and now there is snow drifting up the panes. I can't help but say it is lovely. And, every winter, even when I'm sick of snow, snow, snow, I can't help but gaze in awe at every beautiful new layer.

The disadvantage of winter is our cold house. Our furnace just can't keep up heating this drafty house, and so we shiver. We try to stay close to the heaters and only venture to an outer, icy room when absolutely necessary.

I was just thinking what a weight loss program spring will be. Taking off all the layers of sweatshirts and pants can only make a person feel slimmer, right?

Amid the winter doldrums, we try to lead a normal life. Snow doesn't mean school cancellations like in Oregon or Virginia, or the people here would keep their children home all winter long. No, these children often walk to school, rain or shine or snow. And not just big children. These children are young, walking alone to school. I have to think about how unsafe that would be in America. We wouldn't think of sending our 7-year-old off down the road alone.

And how many times have my boys shoveled the sidewalks this winter?

Allison quoting her newest learned Bible verse in Bible Memory: "There was a boy there who had five biscuits and two smelly fish."

Winter Dressingroom

2006-01-08T23:49:00.000-08:00

I'm amazed every winter how much "stuff" that we need to remember every time we walk out the front door. Yesterday was no exception as we bundled everyone up and headed out to the pond for the first ice skating of the year. As usual, I was beginning to wonder if it was worth it. There is nothing more frustrating than to spend fifteen minutes putting on your children's snow things than to have the children back inside in five minutes because they're cold or the snow doesn't pack right or they have snow inside their boots. I was thinking these thoughts as the usual winter dressing room became a madhouse.

"Allison, do you have your scarf?"

"Mom, where are my gloves?"

"Austin, don't forget to take your stocking cap!!!"

"Mom, I can't find any more socks. I looked everywhere."

"Derek, do you have to got the bathroom? Remember, there isn't any at the pond!"

MMMMOMMM, I can't find my boots!!!"

"Conrad, take this hot chocolate out to the van."

"Mommmm, I can't get my snowsuit on."

In the middle of all the preparation, I was afraid that I might be forgetting something important for myself. But we were all finally ready to go, we walked out of the winter dressing room, looking like a family of fat teddy bears. We shuffled out to the van and headed out to the pond.

Some of our friends told us that the ice wasn't safe yet, because it hadn't been cold enough yet, but our fears were put to rest when we saw a few others skating, walking, and even preparing to ice fish when we arrived.

We went through the long ordeal of getting everyone's skates laced up, made more difficult with our stiff cold fingers. After lining everyone's boots along the bank so we could find them after we were finished and in the dark, if necessary, the fun began.

I remembered what one of John's friends told him the first year when John asked him if anyone skated on the pond by the park. "We used to do that when we were kids. We would go out and scrape off the snow and skate. Every day my friends would meet! But not anymore. Nowadays, the kids are too lazy. All they do is sit in front of the computer playing games or watching TV!"

I watched my boys whiz over the ice, swinging their hockey sticks. I helped pull children on the sled. Allison kept saying, "Watch me, Mom," as she wobbily skated away only to fall in a giggling pile not far ahead. But, seeing all the red glowing cheeks, the bright sparkling eyes, and the happy smiles made all the time in the winter dressingroom worth it. And as we sipped hot chocolate, steaming warmth swirling around us, I felt a ring of happiness circling my heart. Thank you, God, for family times. May I always remember the fun times when I'm tempted to tire of the winter dressingroom.

Start the New Year With a Bang

2006-01-01T02:56:00.000-08:00

Imagine watching the spectacular 4th of July fireworks display along the Willamete river bank in Harrisburg, Oregon... now imagine this all around you for twenty minutes nonstop... that is how our town of Minsk welcomed 2006. Every year we are impressed again at the impressive sight... fireworks popping off everywhere... people out in the middle of deserted snowy streets, drunk and wishing everyone happiness in the coming year...apartment windows flinging open and champagne spilling out and streamers floating down to the street below... one year we witnessed a group of youngsters braking bottles all over a busy intersection... a few minutes of glory and then the people return to the warm houses and their all night party.

Really????!!! My friend looked unbelieving when I told her that in America where we lived we might have heard three gunshots or a horn honking for one minute, but we never had such a wild celebrations. She seemed quite incredulous. Maybe a bit how I felt when friends tell me about their New Year's parties they attend each year!

Another friend told me she doesn't like these New Year's parties. She is a Christian and doesn't drink. I don't even know what to do, she told me. The only activities are drinking and dancing. Lots of alcohol, she said. I feel strange there.

Another student of mine has a boyfriend from England. She told me that New's Year's Eve is boring in England. When she goes to visit her boyfriend for the holidays, they might go to the local pub, and that's all, she says. There's nothing exciting about midnight except maybe some toasts to all sitting around. I understand a bit how she must feel after we have seen the other extreme here.

My children thought the fireworks were fantastic, except for Allison, who was bravely plugging her ears.

Now, the festivities are done, the bottles are drained, the shells of empty fireworks litter the town, and the people have still found no continuing happiness in the money they spent and the party they attended.

Our team invited our close friends to a New Year's party at our school in town. It felt discouraging when a good friend told us, No Polish people will come to your party. There is no alcohol and dancing. It is too different. Well, he was almost right. But in spite of the small numbers, our team had a very close time with the three Polish people that came. We snacked, visited, and then sang the New Year in. It was a new experience for them, but they all seemed to like the different atmosphere. We hope that in coming years, others will also long for something more real and lasting in their lives.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Allison, after seeing her brother Conrad with his new glasses, "I'm not going to eat any more carrots, so I can get glasses when I'm in second grade."

Is "Christ" Really Part of Christmas?

2005-12-26T05:15:00.000-08:00

Poland is a Christian nation. Every person considers himself a Christian. They go to church, they uphold the traditions, keep the sacraments and try to live good lives. And now during the Christmas season here in this Christian country, I was wondering, Where is Christ in this Christan country? Is Christ really here? Or has he been left in the manger 2000 years ago, a helpless infant? Is Christ making a difference in the daily lives of these precious souls? Or is he still hanging on the cross of Calvary?

I quote: "Poland is a land of intriguing traditions traditions and legends. So important is the first star of the night that Christmas Eve has been given the affectionate name of "little star" or "Gwiazdka," in remembrance of the star of Bethlehem. The moment the star appears, everyone exchanges greetings and good wishes. Families unite for the most carefully planned meal of the year, "Wigilia," Christmas supper. According to tradition, bits of hay have been spread beneath the table cloth as a reminder that Christ was born in a manger. An even number of people must be seated around the table or tradition states someone might die in the coming year.

"Although "Wigilia" is a family feast, an empty place setting is left at the table in case a stranger should happen arrive. Traditionally, there is no meat served during "Wigilia." Still, the meal is plentiful and luxurious. It begins with the breaking of the "Oplatek," a semi-transparent wafer of unleavened dough, stamped with scenes of the nativity. Everyone at the table breaks off a piece and eats it as a symbol of their unity with Christ. Custom prescribes that the number of dishes in the meal be odd, 9 or 11. An even number would eliminate any hope of an increase in wealth, children or anything desirable.

"Though the dishes vary between regions, certain items are found almost everywhere. Poppy seed cake, beet soup, prune dumplings and noodles with poppy seed are universally Polish.
After supper, family and guests stay at the table until, at a signal from the host, they all rise in unison and leave. This is the result of an old belief that the first to rise will die before the next Christmas Eve. In some villages the peasants save the crumbs from this festive meal so they can sow them in the Spring. They are said to give medicinal power to the grasses upon which they are sprinkled.

"The remainder of the evening is given to stories and songs around the Christmas tree. It is decorated with nuts, apples and ornaments made from eggshells, colored paper, straw, and painted. Christmas gifts are tucked below the tree. At midnight, the little ones are put to bed and the elders attend "Pasterka," or Shepherd's Mass."

This is how Poland as a country observes the birth of Christ. Of course, some are more devote than others, but almost all of our friends here would celebrate in a similiar way. They welcome the Christ child to the world by observing all these traditions. And to me, their traditions are fascinating.

But, no one seems to be able to tell me why they do the things they do? Where did these traditions come from? And I'm still wondering...Where is Christ among the festivities? My friends have told me that the holiday is empty for them. There is no happiness and joy as they celebrate...only the ritual of keeping the traditions and a holiday from work. Where is Christ? Is he here? Sadly, I believe that Poland as a nation has missed the whole purpose of Christ coming. The church has swallowed up the purpose in rituals of their own. Won't you join me in prayer for the country of Poland, that their God will not be left in the church at mass, but that our friends can see that Christ can make a difference in their daily lives?

Do I Feel Loved or What?

2005-12-19T09:35:00.000-08:00

More times than not, my December 17th birthday nearly gets forgotten with all the busy Christmas festivities that try to crowd it out. But a few times in my life I have been totally surprised and this year was one of them. We three American ladies got together on Friday for our annual "candy and cookie" day when we make American goodies to give as gifts to our friends here. I thought it a bit strange that everyone was wishing me a cheerful "Happy Birthday" first thing in the morning when I arrived at my friends house. What are they thinking? It's a day early! Oh, well, I thought, they just don't want to forget this year. But I was secretly thinking about the night out that my husband had planned for the two of us the follwing evening. (At a romantic Italian restaurant in Warsaw, at that!) And I thought about the brunch that my oldest son promised to make on my special day. (Imagine that he is old enough to give me such a gift!)

The morning passed and at times "Happy Birthday" songs crackled from the speakers and gifts appeared wishing me a wonderful day. It wasn't until I sat down for lunch that I begin thinking about the regularity of it all. Yes, there was a definite pattern. All day long, every hour, on the hour, some rendition of "Sto Lat, Sto Lat"(Happy Birthday in Polish) or "Happy Birthday, Darlin' " peeled out from the stereo and I was presented with another special something.

As I rolled truffle balls, dipped chocolates, and decorated our cookies, I was reminded that I was special to my friends. And when I think about my husband and children I feel thankful. And it's nice to know that on my 35th birthday, it was remembered as a specific event (even though a day early) apart from all the surrounding celebrations of Christmas.

"Look at all the sugar powder!" (Says Allison when she sees the fresh snow on the sidewalk)

God's Blessing Amid tragedy

2005-12-19T09:26:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to share with you the words of the birth announcement that my brother and wife sent to us this week.

"How sweet to hold our newborn baby
And feel the pride and joy she gives,
But greater still, the calm assurance.
This child can face uncertain days,
because Christ lives."

Jolynn Marie
Sent by the One Who holds
Carmen, Jana, Carinna, Jerryl, and Craig
in His loving arms.

Born to
Jeff and Carolyn Schrock
December 14, 2005, 4:40 P.M.
7 lb., 12 oz., 21 1/2 inches long

"Because He lives, we can face tomorrow;
Because He lives, all fear is gone,
Because we know He holds the future...
And life is worth the living, just because He lives."
- Gaither

What a testimony of God's goodness in their lives.

Back to Normal???

2005-12-11T09:09:00.000-08:00

Isa. 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," saith the Lord. This is the verse I've been clinging to this last month when a lot of questions have bombarded our minds. Do I really believe in the sovereignty of God? Where was God on November 1 while my brother Jeff was driving to meet his wife Carolyn in Spokane, Washington? Had he turned his back for a brief moment when my five nieces and nephews were tragically killed? Is a death as horrible as this in God's perfect plan? Many people say, "God knows best," but at a time like this it sounded so pat, so trite, so glib. Does God know best? What else can we believe? Even in such a terrible situation, God has been abundantly glorified. He has lavishly poured out His blessing, grace, and strength in the lives of Jeff and Carolyn more than they ever imagined. Does God know best? God has used this for good. His forgiveness has been shown to many people in a very tangible way. We only see a small frame of time, but God is looking at this event in light of his infinite plan. God sees it all. Yes, I believe with a resounding "Yes" although tears continue to flow, that God knows best!

One of the hardest things I have done since we came to Poland four years ago, was to tear myself away from my brother and his wife, my dad, my mom, my siblings and in-laws, my nieces and nephews. I felt my heart rebelling at the thought of leaving them grieving and returning to cold, unforgiving Poland. I had no desire to return...to my unbelieving friends, who have no hope and hence no comfort for grieving hearts. What a contrast! A week in America surrounded by loving Christian support..back to Poland where hearts are crying out in bitterness and unbelief, "Where was God?"...back to people that can't understand that even in the middle of such a situation, a believer can experience joy, peace, and forgiveness. They just can't understand. I Cor. 1:18 "The message of the cross is foolishness to them who are perishing, but to us who are saved it is the POWER of God." But we needed to return. My heart was heavy as we tried to adjust once again to the nine-hour time change. We never experienced such jet lag before. We were all wide awake at three in the morning and sleeping peacefully at eleven!

The first thing I didn't want to face upon our return was our ladies tea. Once every two months, we Americans invite Polish lady friends to get together for an evening tea. They love it. It is a reIaxed time together, and what lady doesn't enjoy cupping a fine china teacup in her hand and sipping tea in candlelight and feeling like a queen for the evening. We had planned it before we suddenly had to leave to go to my brother's children's funeral, so we had to reschedule it for after we returned. My heart wasn't into facing it and all the ladies that attended. But again, God proved marvelously faithful. He carried me through on His strength, and my desire to minister to these ladies returned and we did have a wonderful (though a bit more somber than usual) evening.

I do want to share with you yet the miracle of our whole family being able to fly to the state of Washington for the funeral. When we heard the tragic news, of course, our hearts turned to America, and we begin to wonder who, if anyone, should make the trip. We thought of many combinations, but in the end, taking the advice of friends, we decided to take our whole family and fly to Seattle. This was a great step of faith because there was no way to pay for such a trip. John tried to reserve tickets, but his credit card limit couldn't even handle the total bill. But, amid many miracles we were able to fly and arrived in Spokane finally on Saturday, two days before the funeral. Thanks to many generous individuals (Thanks and thanks again to all of you who contributed!!!!), our whole trip was more than paid for---travel, food, lodging in Spokane, gas, shopping, vehicle--yes, all of it. We felt so blessed and humbled how God worked all of those little details out as well. God does care for us and we have experienced it once again.

And we have continued to feel a lot of support from our small team and Christian friends here. This event has indeed touched the whole world.

It Wasn't My idea

2005-12-09T02:05:00.000-08:00

I never planned to start a blog. In fact, I don't have time to blog. But my dear sister (I think it was her. I'll blame it on her) told me that this would be a great place to post my monthly updates for everyone to read. It scares me a little to think that anyone and everyone around the world can read about my little life here in Poland, but I will try it and see if I really do feel exposed. So, here I go!